Flash-flooding, spontaneously
A scream escapes from me
A stream of memory on a trespassing spree…
Some events in life like the San Andreas Fault
Lay dormant for years and then they jolt
And reverberate in currents like a billion volts…
Vaults cracked open, leaking dread
I wish I were invulnerably made—instead
Just human frailties, no steel or lead…
When those tears finally come, it’s hard to stop it
Ice-berg deep, buried emotions sit
Like the tectonic plates, the heart gets split…
Rushing from tear-ducts like a waterfall
After the surge, they eventually stall
Remember Berlin’s infamous wall?
The time for rebuilding comes to mind
To stabilize my life and leave the past behind
The ravages of time almost left me blind…
A few burnt embers after the fire has stopped
A few tears left, drip, drip, drop…
A hard lesson learned, now that page I turn
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is amazingly penned! Wonderful job painting this picture and thanks for sharing with AP
When those tears finally come, it’s hard to stop it
Ice-berg deep, buried emotions sit
Like the tectonic plates, the heart gets split…
A few burnt embers after the fire has stopped
A few tears left, drip, drip, drop…
A hard lesson learned, now that page I turn
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Thank you for all of your powerful sentiment about this piece. It is one of my earliest pieces here. Thanks for digging this up and saying such great things about it and quoting it.
AsIThink...
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Great depth of pain felt through geological metaphors. I like your use of imagery with the San Andreas Fault laying dormant then reverberating, and this usually happens with little or no warning, just like the flood of emotions which can overwhelm us at times.
As you wind up your thoughts, likewise the imagery slows down to a "drip, drip, drop." This is wonderful use of technique and brings the poem to a natural and satisfying close.
Intelligent and emotional. Superb write...alby
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Wow...what a terrific response; such insight too. Thank you very much alby. I actually thought that you read this already? In any case, it is so good to see how you felt about this one. This is a personal fav of mine (by the way...smiling). So grateful for your kind words.
AsIThink...
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Wow! This is breath-taking!!! What a moving image! I love these lines:
"Ice-berg deep, buried emotions sit
Like the tectonic plates, the heart gets split…"
This is a very powerful extended metaphor. It is well-developed and perfectly executed! Nice job! -
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Someone stop the presses (lol). You are responding with so much force of presence and appreciative commentary that I will soon have to re-order response-skills (lol). What an impressive opinion...Thank you very, very much.
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You're welcome. And thank you.
Just a hard-core poetry fan, I guess.
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Don't see anything wrong with that. Well, I for one, am glad you came (lol). Thanks again.
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Tears are a wonderful way of cleansing oneself. It is a true gift I believe rather than a curse or embarrasement. Nice write.
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True from my point-of-view. And cleansing can be sooooo important. Thanks for your very generous review(s).
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wisewithwordz
Damn kid your getting soooooooooo nice at this poetry thing! Sounds as if you've been doing this forever! Real emotional piece. EXCELLENT! You get an A oe maybe just an aye! -
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And your words are wise...
lol. Thanks. Nope, just under 1 and 1/2 years or so. These crazy moods keep hitting me (right between the eyes). So aye, maybe the I's have instead. lol. Thanks for the feedback. AND yeah...I was feeling the surge of emotions.
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2 thumbs up...
...wow, tectonic plates?the heart splits?Now that's a
line drop rite therr!!great poem,emotion,and imagry
were- spot on!!
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And my head down...
...not to bow though. Talk about splits, I have 2 for you: 1. A headache from work (lol) and 2. What I need to do after I log off (lol...again). Thanks for the thoughtful comments (and commenting at all). If it impressed you O' great one...(lol)
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ooooow
very cool, the imagry is wonderful...love the line "A few tears left, drip, drip, drop…" gives the poem a sense of finality. this is a great poem thanks very much for shareing
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Wooow...
Thanks for the positive feedback. This is a GREAT comment. I do believe we have a winner (lol). I am really happy to read these remarks by you. Believe me when I say, you are very welcome. I wasn't too sure about posting this initially...then I thought, what the heck, I know I'm not 1st (and won't be the last) to get kinda-sorta, 'vulnerable-ish'? Thanks (2x) for the heartfelt review. I'm going to see what you have posted.
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