Slowly I was sinking,
into a sea of sin.
Right to the very bottom,
never to rise again.
I called unto my Father,
"Please help, for I can't swim!"
And then I heard him whisper,
"Hold tightly to my hem."
I grasped onto his garment,
held tightly with both hands.
And when my eyes were opened,
I was safely on dry land.
Onto my knees I fell,
then offered up my prayer.
Forever Lord please keep me,
held tightly in your care.
My Prayer
"Dear Lord I know you were busy,
that day I called your name.
Your hands were full of burdens,
yet to me you gladly came.
Your garment swept around me,
upon the ocean's floor.
From a sea of sin you pulled me,
to safety yet once more.
As my eyes were slowly opened,
I gazed upon my hands...
tears rolled down my cheeks
for this is what I found.
The threads of a blood stained garment,
wound tightly in my hands...
pulled from the hem
that saved me from a world so
full of sin...Amen"
God's Answer
"My child I watched your struggles,
yet I quietly stood above.
I was waiting on you to call my name,
and hoping that you would.
Your burdens were so heavy,
they quickly pulled you down.
Into a sea of darkness,
I watched you slowly drown.
You fought so brave and strong,
with all your worldly might...
but on my name, had you not called,
you would have lost the fight.
Yes, my hands were full that day,
for your burdens you did bare.
I gladly took them all from you,
and held them in my care.
That garment that I lent to you,
now holds a bloody print.
For just inside the hem you see,
is where you left your sins."
In a list
A contest entry
- The Raven Contest: Uncovering Genius in the Written Word by Raven Contest.
14500 points, ended October 1, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire Me - I need some sunshine and cheering up by Seeking Peace.
450 points, ended September 8, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Reaching by R-Evolve.
1500 points, ended December 6, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Faith: Our God Is An Awesome God. by La Tua Cantante.
300 points, ended February 8, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Has He Done For you? by My-Insanity.
450 points, ended January 18, 2008, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - God will not prevent the storm, but He will help you through it. by Kooks.
300 points, ended May 14, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Faith by Pisces rainbow.
1200 points, ended May 21, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Can I talk with you? by Epilogue.
3000 points, ended July 11, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Love God! by XxForeverFaithfulxX.
550 points, ended July 23, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 42 of 42
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i love the spiritual poems on this site, but this one will definately hold a special place. It is so wonderful to read this. I have been struggling with doubts lately, and this makes me realize that God is waiting for us to call on Him. I love how you included your prayer and God's answer. Very creative and uplifting.
God Bless You,
Lillian
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I hope that you found uplifting inspiration in your time of despair and doubt. God is always there for us, we are the ones who stray. Never doubt his presence or his love.
Blessings
,
Sassy
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wow...
This almost made me cry...it was amazing! And the truth is that I've been down that road..sinking so far in sin not knowing were to go or what to do! But it's amazing what God can do for us!^_^ I loved this alot! Keep up the good work! Thanks for entering and good luck!
In Christ,
~Kayla~
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Let me know when your book is published so I can buy it. You are an amazing poet. The flow, imagery and metaphore were great. I am loving your poems so far. I see why your page is adorned with so many trophies. There should be many more. WONDERFUL!
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thank you for your wonderful comments, and well, about the book, it's a thought that drifts through my mind now and again, yet, a challenge that I'm not ready to confront.
Blessings,
Sassy
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EXCELLENT
I LOVE RHYME,
I LOVE THE MESSAGE,
I LOVE THE WHOLE WRITE.
EXCELLENT
THANK YOU FOR ENTERING
GOD BLESS...
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Thank you for your entry. Lovely work, the three different parts work so well and the sense of content towards the end of the poem is given by the Saviour, a clever idea.
Good Luck with the contest. -
thank you so much for the silver, and the opportunity to share my testimony of faith, as this is one of my favorite pieces.
May You Always Be Blessed,
Sincerely,
Sassy -
Thank you
Thank you so much for your entry It was amazing. and Deserved this Silver Throphy. Thank you and God bless! -
awsome
VERY VERY nice. This Write gave me chills and Only good poetry can do that
I could honestly swear I could feel your pain and then your confort and happiness in this poem. I absolutly loved it. the part i liked the most was
" That garment that I lent to you,
now holds a bloody print.
For just inside the hem you see,
is where you left your sins."
that part really stood out to me. Great Job. Wonderful words and awsome way of putting things Good luck.
I will leave an over all comment on the winning poems when the contest is closed for judging. thank you for your entry. God Bless.
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Bravo,bravo,bravo
You have been kind enough to read and comment on a number of my pieces, so I thought I would return the favor.
I found this piece to be well written and meaningful. I was also pleased to see you write in well structured rhyme, which to me, is what true poetry is all about. Most of the so called poetry on this site is meaningless dreck.
You have talent...keep writing.
Drybones
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Wonderful!
You did so well on this poem I could only wish to aspire to exercise my heart the way that you do! I did see 2 words in 2 different places, that I would have added... I feel that they can be added safely, and would then with their absence, not distract the reader, and make this poem sing even more! Beautiful poem... It made me cry!
~ James ~
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THe problem I've run into with spiritual or religious poetry on this site is everything is so vague.
I like the title of this. But the narrator could make an entire poem out of the first four lines by adding metaphor and imagery. I don't dislike the poem because of it's message, I dislike it because I'm being told everything. I'm not shown anything. Does that make sense?
It's put together well, the rhythm of the rhyme works, but for me, it barely skims the surface of what good be a really interesting, inspired piece of poetry. -
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What makes sense to me, is that everyone is entitled to their opinion...and that is yours. Hope you find your inspiration elsewhere. Good Luck and God Bless
Sassy,
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I have always loved the drowning analogy to explain the way we feel when the weight of the world (and specifically, the lives we have lived inside that world) gets to be unbearable, and in truth, unknowable. Your poem is a work of grace and salvation that goes to the very core of a in-dubious faith we can all appreciate, even those who do not seek answers in a higher power. I include this later group because I find, perhaps strangely, that your effort also speaks to the potency of man: you have enabled yourself to find a way out, to keep on living, to strive and to succeed. I am impressed with the way you have melded this within the confines of faith. Well done.
Thank you for your entry,
~Das -
The saying come to mind we are forgiven not perfect.The word forgiveness for a Christian has great meaning. It about an unconditional love for all human. We were give free will to believe it our choice to ask for it or not. I like how you wrote this story. It does warm the heart strings greatly. The message says so much more. This is very heart felt write. I am glad I got to read it. I truly enjoyed every word of it. I want to wish you the very best.
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oo
Wow... I'm litterally speechless... This was so moving, and so absolutly touching... amazing..
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I am not a religious person but this touched my heart, I guess it is how I feel at the moment
Thank you for taking the time to enter this contest, I wish you the very best of luck
Karen -
Whether you are a religious person or not, I think this poem will not fail to touch the hearts of readers with its warmth, love and belief. I think most people have been in a situation at some point where they have thought there was no escape, and it is in those moments that many will call upon God for help. Later they will look back and wonder if divine intervention aided them. For those who do believe there is still wonderment at the act of God’s kindness. Many readers will related to this lovely tale.
I like the three part construction of this poem as it cements together three brief moments in time, the initial scene with the brief prayer, followed by the later prayer and God’s answer, to produce an entire and sustaining picture. I think the rhyme is a little out in a few stanzas but is generally well used in others. I personally like this type of poem being written in rhyme because it benefits the flow and tells the story in an effortless manner.
Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.
Northern Raven
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A very lovely and heart-felt poem with a great deal of poignancy evoked with your sincere words. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering this wonderful poem for us to read.
David
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Absolutely beautiful sassy and I love the whole poem the love upon this world is not of this world and you've wrapped my heart with God's mercy for the blood stained garment will be left for the world filled with sin. I must admit you pulled some strings here sweetie thank you and best wishes in the contest. definitely a most deserving work of art. Much love and many blessings to you. Maynard
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EXCELLENT AND HEART FELT
Such a masterpiece this one with such love and the vision of being saved and the stains upon the hem being the sins he took away . Truly a lovely work of art here -
Faith
So eloquenty stated.... If a god hears your words then both you ^ that god are honored
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this is gorgeous. i'm not usually religious but this is exquisite and i really love the grace and love you put into this. great job^^
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thank you, if you're ever sinking...just reach out for the hem
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my heart aches with gladness. i love this.
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thank you:)
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This is a wonderful write and express everything so deeply and strongly. It delightens me and some parts are written with so much perfection that i simply adore this piece of work.
I love the choice of different unique words and the wonderful flow that u have come up with. I wish u best of luck in the poetry, and keep up the good work. I look forward to read more of yours..do take a look at mine too.
And one more thing which is, i really love the title.. and this part is wonderful
Your burdens were so heavy,
they quickly pulled you down.
Into a sea of darkness,
I watched you slowly drown.
God bless, love
Mansoor -
Wow...I have tears in my eyes..seriously..I love love love this piece! so real and true and touching..you have successfully reached me..and probably most who read this. Nice work!
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This is BOUND to be a classic. I know I am just a nobody poet, but I know good theology when I read it, and what comfort from God is like. This reads like the kind of stuff that was popular in my mom and grandma's day- stuff that inspired me as child and still inspires me til this day. A TRUE Christian will find this poetry wonderful. Thank you for sharing it and I do hope you share it beyond all poetry. Would you mind if I printed this out, and shared it with some friends?
Duana
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Truly Inspirational ...
I came to comment and found this gem of yours that exudes of spiritualness and shares of yourself in a very sincere way. Your poems flows nicely, one to the other, as was a welcome read. Very nice! joy
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thank you,
for your lovely comments and I'm glad this piece was inspirational to you, as it is one of my favorites.
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This is Absolutely Amazing!
I'm floored, smitten and amazed. There's a sense of eternal vision and glory. It also made me think of a song I wrote. If you care to look at it, here it is:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/3050372
Fabulous work, young lady!
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Beautiful!
This is absolutely breath-taking. I loved the way it told a story, how lost you were and then your prayer of thanks and His answer to you. I especially loved the lines, "And then I heard Him whisper, "Hold tightly to my hem." This is a powerful testimony of your love for the Savior and His Father in Heaven. The last two lines left me in awe, "For just inside the hem you see, is where you left your sins." Such a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it here for us all to read and enjoy. Your friend in Poetry, Mysty Rain
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Thank you for your beautiful comments, and glad you got some inspiration from it. May You be blessed, thank you
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I'm sorry... but.... Please is it okay for me to print this out??? I would love to say this to myself everyday... it's really quite wonderful!
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Your Inspirational ~ I am in awe
This poem actually gave me chills up and down.... It was like I could feel the spirit of the lord ~ Personally, this is just what I need!!! OMG you have no idea how much this poem touches my heart. ~~~ I feel I've lost my way from God, yet just maybe held my faith by a thread... I've been so hurt and felt like God deserted me... This restores my faith... that I still may have a chance to have the relationship with God I once did. ~ Thank you...
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Inspiration
I am so glad that you drew inspiration from this. And you can always have a relationship with God, he stays the same...we are the one's who change. And you are welcome to print it..God Bless You
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this is beautifully done.... I take it for what it says and knwo that the hand has found the faith to reach to that hem....
ty so much for this.... -
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Thank you
Thank you for pointing that out, that verse now reads. The threads of a blood stained garment, wound tightly in my hands
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I can relate to this, because god is saving me from drown in my own sea of sin. It's his holy hand that's preventing me from sinking deeper in it. This is very inspirational and uplifting. I thank you so much for sharing this with me and all that read it...
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