Trickling down a rocky precipice,
Going downward to a watery grave
Standing there-
The water soaks my clothes.
The majesty astounds me
Water cascading down,
Sparkling like a million diamonds
In the blazing sun
Near the mossy rocks-
A bed of wild flowers,
A heavenly garden
A veil of mist sprays over it
Leaving a trail of glittering gems in its wake
A crown, worthy of a god
A droplet trickles off a flower
It splashes on the rocks
An imperceptible sound
Author notes
I added this to the contest because I think that this place IS happiness, peace, and every other good feeling. Its PARADISE!!!
A contest entry
- My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites that dont suck. by parachute fog.
400 points, ended October 20, 2007, 93 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - WHAT IS HAPPINESS? by Beautiful-N-Broken.
300 points, ended February 7, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is really pretty it makes me crave summer even more.i can see what you were writing about in my mind as i read every line
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Great write!!! Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!!!
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oh wow, i love the imagery here
i simply love all the lines you've written here =]
glad to read this and this is a wonderful way
to describe paradise, all right ^^
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wow this is worthy of a trophy, the gold in fact, this is well expressed, and beautifully metaphorical. I love how each word flows into the next, and it has perfect rhythm. I love the whole concept as well. It is an amazing poem, thanks for sharing, keep penning! I wish I could write something this spectacular!
x from the ashes x
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thank you! its one of the ones that I have written that i like
and... haha. The one poem of yours that I read was definitely amazingly spectacular.. soo no worries
thanks for le comment
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Very vivid imagery within this poem without you actually having to say what you are actually talking about in your author notes which in my opinion is a very good way to write. I could hear the water and feel it on my skin. Excellent write, well cthought out and brought together. Good luck and many thanks for entering my contest.
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nicely done..impressed much with first stanza...the pictures painted in 2nd stanza revealed alot of beauty...sounds like a waterfall....i've never bathed under one before...but you just showed me what its like. now i've gotta find out what it feels like
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I can actually hear it
I always read those who comment on my poems. I thank you for reading, Intersection (Hannah Mae). This poem is not quiet to me because I am standing in or near a waterfall. This may or may not be the reality of what you were thinking in the write. It is my reality within it. The flowers at the bottom accompanied by the title to the piece only adds to its allurement for me. You are so descriptive in the last stanza that it blows me away regarding your age, if that is factual. Regardless, the last three lines are priceless. I suppose the sound would be unregocnizable to the non-writer, yet they would scream to me. You have done a wonderful job here and I cannot applaud you enough for your piece. RC
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