BDSM for Beginners (Not a poem)

I see people raise their eyebrows at the title alone.  Those that are questioning BDSM behaviour have never experienced love as profoundly as people in the Bondage Discipline Dominance Submission Sadism Masochism group do on a permanent basis.

What is love?  It's those butterflies in the pit of the stomach, the sweaty palms, the racing heartbeat, the smile that spreads to the heart ... that is merely the tip of the iceberg that a slave could possibly feel for her Master.  It is so much more than all of those things!  A look from a Master sends shivers down His slave's spine – a touch from a Master makes His slave quiver – a kiss from a Master makes His slave fly.

It is important for a person to understand that no matter what may transpire between a Master and His slave – everything is consensual and agreed upon between B/both parties.  It is NOT abuse – it is a symbol of love.  It is NOT disrespect – it is a symbol of complete love.  It is NOT sick – it is a symbol of absolute love.

How does one explain “belong”?  Being in a Master/slave relationship.

The psychological aspect of it is where it all begins ...

To cede over total control of oneself to another breathing, living being is something that can only be done with entirety – no half measures.  Trust is a huge issue to deal with when handing over one's life willingly to another person.  i trust that my Master will never harm me – i trust that my Master will always protect me – i trust that my Master will always love me therefore i give myself over to Him eagerly, almost desperately, hoping that i can please Him with every breath that i take.  There is no doubt, no hesitation, no thought – there is only Him – my Master.  my Master's word is law in my world.

“Playing” is also linked to the psychological branch of BDSM.  Every characteristic of BDSM starts in the mind.  The nervous, expectant jitters as one's Master brings out the “toys” - no, not the usual vibrators or perhaps a costume to wear to fulfil a fantasy but the REAL toys – the floggers, the chains, the ropes, the clamps, the cuffs, the canes, the blindfolds, the knives along with the vibrators and costumes.  NOTHING is taboo in a Master/slave relationship – O/our desire is played out between two adults in agreement and O/our desire is staved off for a while until the next  time He touches His slave – yes, a mere touch can send a slave into her Master's world.

Being pushed to one's limits – not knowing whether one can make it through a certain play scene is scary yet thrilling at the same time.  Knowing that if a slave does this, she will not only expand her boundaries, but she will please her Master and will hear the words, “I am proud of you” whispered in her ear and a smile that lights her heart on her Master's face.

To feel the harsh yet seductive touch of a Master's riding crop, knowing that it is an extension of His caress before He softly slides His hand down where the riding crop has caused lesions;  To feel His ropes pulled tight over the body, knowing that it is one's Master that does this with intense adoration, binding the slave's body to His own -  the disappointment when a slave cannot be bound to her Master at all times is excruciating.  To feel the hard pinch of the nipple, knowing that it is one's Master who is demanding a slave's attention and yet pleasing her at the same time.  To feel His flogger strike the bottom, knowing that it is one's Master who loves His slave more than she will ever realize.

The pain is immediately transformed to pleasure as it is not merely the pain, but what the pain signifies that brings pleasure to a slave.  Pain is pleasure for a slave because it denotes the intensity of the feelings that her Master has for the slave and vice versa.  Once again, it reverts back to the psychological side of BDSM.

Pain could be seen as something horrible, bad, even sinister from “society's” point of view, but within the BDSM group (and from this slave's humble point of view) – pain is seen as an axe, crashing down on the chains that attach her soul, her being, her everything to the humdrum patter of normal life and lets her float freely up in the clouds, happy in the  serenity of knowing that it is her Master – it is her Ruler that is doing this to her.  A slave's Master sets a slave free to be whatever it is that the slave chooses to be – a Master is a slave's only focal point, whether playing, sleeping, eating or breathing.

A slave endures more than a “normal” person as she knows that it gives her Master absolute satisfaction, which is of utmost importance.  A slave will ALWAYS comply, obey and serve her Master because she WANTS to, not because it's what is expected, but because it is what she genuinely wants to do.

A slave is no less important than a Master in a Master/slave relationship, as without a slave a Master cannot be a Master.  A slave has the privilege, the honour, the luxury of showing another human how much He means to her by pledging herself to Him.  Yes, it IS an honour for a Master to accept a slave as they are with all their burdens and baggage and to try and help them better themselves.

If a slave's Master decides to punish her for not complying, obeying or serving – it is devastating to the slave.  A slave feels no greater disappointment with herself than knowing that she was unable to please her Master.  To deny her Master anything would be worse than denying herself air – she belongs to her Master ... utterly.

There is no greater delight for me, as a proud slave, than being collared by my Master for the world to see that i belong to Him and accepted by Him as His eternal slave.

Yes, there are protocols, there are rules to follow – but everything is done TOGETHER – a Master's dominance and control is only as effective as the slave allows it to be.  A Master's job (so to speak) is to train His slave to allow her to reach the pinnacle of servitude that would be the most pleasing for Him – it is an endless road with many twists and turns, whereas a slave's job is only to please her Master.  This slave feels as though she can never give as much as her Master gives her.  Seems to me as though a Master gives so much more to a slave than a man can to a woman.

What does a Master/slave relationship mean to me?  I find it extremely difficult to explain – it is love, acceptance, denying oneself nothing, living life to the fullest.  Knowing that my Master is extremely demanding, yet so loving - my Master loves me more than i've ever been loved before and it's an amazing feeling that takes my breath away.  I cannot comment from my Master's eyes, but from His slave's eyes – my Master is my entire world, without Him i am nothing.

i live, breath and function for my Master.

A slave is merely a vessel for a soul that belongs to another.These are simply my views from a slave's point of view - I can only hope that people will start to understand the depth of emotion that entails a Master/slave relationship.