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Atonement of a Delirious Man

Prostrate in the sanctuary religious faith,
I seek pardon for my deeds.
Incantations mumbled in tongues,
Consecration to He who will be my judge.
Again, I have lived in treason today.

With purpose and stealth I moved,
Wielding a ceremony knife,
Hot with fury and need.
There was no atoning to me,
Only flesh to be carved.
Relish I did at that thought.

Stroke by stroke,
I delicately removed the burden of corporeality.
I remained pinned, and did not falter,
I merely waited for my sentence to be complete.
At execution’s end,
A final blow was gladly delivered to smash the spluttering heart,
And I was nicked of Life.

Angels arrive to sing in apathetic chorus,
Summoning the devil’s grace.
Delirium as ambient as air.
And there was betrayal once more.

As my fantasy vanished,
I found my own blood in hands.
Such a man like myself,
Who stalks his condemned,
With the inclination to rend and punish himself,
Should be kept locked up within his mental asylum.

Author notes

Hi there, this is my first attempt at a contest so hopefully it is up to your expectations. The category that i am entering in is a cross between #2, #3 and #4. It is mental, sucidal, and killing another person from a person point of view.

This poem is about "me punishing myself", and i am hoping that the structure employed to relate these two perspectives(of the executioner and sinner) does not add unnecessary complexity to compromise the poem.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • AutumnsFlame
    June 3, 2007

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    SSSwwwweeeeeeeeetttt...... For your first shot at a contest, this was a pretty darn cool poem in my eyes. You be a talented writer right here, and I'm pretty sure you'll have a shot in the preliminary finalists!... Good word and thank you very much for entering my contest.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    May 31, 2007

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    I enjoyed this. Scarey yet, intriguing how you penned this all together. This was absoluting one of the best i have seen in quite some time...bravo dear poet. As for the authors note, i must say it was more complex lol. then again its 2am in the morning everything is at this hour. Well done.


  • individuality gold member
    May 30, 2007

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    a good piece, some good imagery given out which holds a apprehensive atmosphere. may i suggest that you remove the author comments explaining what your poem is about for that removes power from the poem once read? let your poem speak


    • Aodes
      May 30, 2007
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      Individuality

      Changed the author notes a few, thanks for the thumbs up.