I never desired to be part
Of that immaculate collection.
I wanted nothing to do with the cycles
Of perpetuating hurts and impressions.
I wanted only To be left Alone.
Involve me not in your pathetic life,
Dabbling in guilt and pity,
You will have but one chance to survive!
I will rip the flesh from your bones
A poison dripping from a honed blade
Silver in color glistening black
Forged quietly, it was hand made
Take the ride on that water-horse,
A long awaited attempt at fate.
Make haste to your final death,
And I will simply forget the past.
Author notes
Not often do I write from anger. The words never flow for me. But threaten me and mine, and its amazing what I can show to thee.
Its a Kindness I rarely Extend
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
im glad you wrote about this rather on AP rather than "deal" with this. could imagine it would be pretty messy hahaha nice write. i can see what you mean about the flowing. you started off well then you kept getting madder and madder until you had a horror poem. nice work, and count to 10 hahaha
(im saving points, but i still want to give you some smiles x)
: ) : ) : ) -
you know what.......
It's a kindness I rarely extend
just might be the perfect
title for your poem.....
I hear ya....
I"m a mother bear
myself.........
i use to shy away from anger
but I understand it's purpose
now...many wonderful blessings
arise from anger......
the end of slavery
the right to vote as women
Mothers against drunk drivers
Adam Walshs brutal death and his fathers
anger and tears to create
the TV show : Most Wanted.
sometimes justified anger
can lead a people to great miracles
and deeds that otherwise
they'd sweep under the carpet.
way to write it!
and good for you....
flushing the radiators
never hurt anyone....
unless you are holding
an AXE...and that's just not nice!
gigggle.
ears/Seattle
way to WRITE!
-
Sometimes when someone pushes you, it is better to let your angst out on paper instead of through violence. Obviously this was your choice. The poem flows well, and accomplishes its goal.
Make haste to your final death,
And I will simply forget the past.
Suggesting no forgiveness until the debt is paid by death... harsh! but so is life, and raw emotion. Nice write! -
you pushed your anger out a little to much but i liked where you were going with this, the direction is good too.
-
felt like you tried too hard to rhyme... but whatever floats your boat ^_~ I liked the words though, and the ending AN tied it all together. Make haste to your final death and I will simply forget the past. felt like saying that to my ex! ^_~
-
Very well done. Wouldn't want to piss you off, that's for sure. I loved the imagery and descriptions:
I will rip your flesh from your bones
A Poison Dripping From a Honed Blade
Silver in color glistening black
Forged quietly, it was hand made
I could see you standing there, holding said blade *shiver*
-
I liked it..
I could feel the anger coming from this piece.
Nicely done.
And i for one know where you're comming from.
don't mess with the ones that's closest to your heart
or your bound to get dealt with. lol
awesome job here.
The title says it and fit the poen perfectly.
"I will rip your flesh from your bones"
That line was awesome! I could feel the rage behind it. hehe.
Great job!
-Mandi
-
Interesting
For you to not often write a poem from anger, you did very well! I can both see and feel the anger wafting off this poem as I continued to read it to the end. Keep up the good work.
-
Oh! I liked it. Alot. The core of this poem reminds me of a poem I wrote from anger, Last Warning. Check it out if you want...http://allpoetry.com/poem/4341339
-
WOW
Feel the venom dripping from the page.
Anger, does indeed have it's uses.
good stuff
-
The poem itself is very good. The imagry, metaphores, ect...
however, anger does not have a USEFUL purpose. -
this poem makes me smile..not quite sure why..but..nonetheless..
-
Wonderful!
That's really...awesome. You can feel the anger just dripping from the poem itself and the visuals that you put with it really pull you into the poem. You allow people to feel everything along with you. It's an amazing poem. I'm sorry it took me so long to return the favor, but I am awfully glad that I made sure I did. Thank you for your comment.
-Tiffany-
-
Wow the feeling is so rawi your 3rd verse. I love it
-
Brilliant
The anger here is strong within these words. Powerful writing indeed which flows so well. This is a brilliant piece of writing in which your mood was captrured perfectly.
Wayne
-
your great
i have been told you should let the anger out so if this is not your normal way you did lovely
-
my first impression is that i think it would be easier just to be your friend. smile. but i understand the message. understand to be left alone. i am an only child. grew up learning to be left alone. but protect my own now. dont mess with me. very good write.
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
