Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Inadequate

Inside my mind, innocence is brutally attacked
Nothingness devours my once prominent confidence
Although I seem unchanged, I fall without rescue
Deepest fears become unbearably unhidden
Effortlessly, darkness takes what God hath given
Quietness replaces what was once fervor;
Untangling layers of myself
All is revealed, for all else is taken
The core of who I am is exposed for all to see;
Exposing the truth--I am inadequate

Author notes

I have nothing to say. The poem says it all.

A contest entry

Please Comment Honestly...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Glasyalabolas
    October 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written acrostic, brimming with easily identifiable emotion.

    Good write.


  • Knight70 silver member
    September 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible writing....

    This is something that I could identify with so much when I was a teenager. For me, it was always about the feeling of inadequacy. I felt it with just about everything at the time. You're a gifted writer.


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    August 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yes it does say it all and very well said
    A well chosen title I like it a lot.
    Thanks for your entry and Good luck in the contest.


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I can agree here, first of all I love that your content is no where near the typical dark poetry content that you would find. I love this piece, great write.

    Bandaid.


  • FallingTwilight
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Fantastic piece.It speaks volumes. Best of luck,

    FallenPoeticAngel


  • a means to an end
    June 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i'm crying... again. beofe because of a war poem and now because i know exactly how you fell. i always fell like i am not good enough for neone/ this was really sdad. i liked it because it didnt rhyme but it made perfect snese. great write


  • Lie 2 Me Once Again
    June 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great fantastic write thanks for entering


  • workingharleylady
    June 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    incredibly deep

    I loved this piece.Evoked fear to the bone in me yet a fragile innocence within the writers soul. Bravo!
    warmly, Chrissy


  • Larue
    June 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... I totally, deeply love this! What a great piece... I really don't know what to say - this is awesome. Wonderful grammar as well. Good luck!
    -Skye


  • Delete this polease
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It does speak it all. Very simply but with such a strengh. Truely amazing. Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • thelovesongwriter
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow i loved it. great use of words and beautiful flow. great job and good luck!


  • Three Doves
    June 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wonderful

    Yes, exactly! The poem does say it all. We are our own worst enemies. "The core of who I am is exposed for all to see; Exposing the truth--I am inadequate."
    A well expressed poem that captured my attention from the very start. "Inside my mind, innocence is brutally attacked." God Bless You and Keep writing.


  • macandrew
    May 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Although I seem unchanged, I fall without rescue

    Definitely my favorite line.
    thanks for entering.
    John

1 - 13 of 13