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Cheetah - Haiku Chain

graceful is she

quiet and peaceful she lays

such gentle beauty

within these fences

she must forever remain

no more the hunted

the wild was her home

freedom she shall never know

caged against her will

watchful and mighty

vanishing now the Cheetah

are we saving them

 

 

Author notes

These photos were taken in Georgia's Chehaw Park.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Pollycheck
    December 4, 2007

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    graceful is she
    quiet and peaceful she lays
    such gentle beauty

    within these fences
    she must forever remain
    no more the hunted

    the wild was her home
    freedom she shall never know
    caged against her will

    watchful and mighty
    vanishing now the Cheetah
    are we really saving them

    Thank you for entering my ku contest. This is a very well written haiku chain, but I have found a syllable count porblem with it. The line,"are we really saving them", contains seven syllables and it should only be five.


    • freespirit51
      December 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Pollycheck

      Thanks for the kind words. I did fix the last line. Thanks so much for noticing.


  • ellipsist
    November 1, 2007

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    straightforward... quite clear and different from the haiku i am used to reading... thank you for sharing this piece... a pleasure to read... good luck to you...


  • Glasyalabolas
    September 24, 2007

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    This is not only well written, but throws up a good message and talking point, which isn't easy to do with such short-form as haiku.

    Good write and congrats on bronze.


    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2007
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      Your words are wonderful to hear and I thank you for them. These are beautiful and wonderfull animals.

  • InBetweenThoughts
    September 24, 2007

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    This is really beautiful It is sad how so many of the worlds animals are in decline due to man's expansion throughout their territories..you have brilliantly painted a sad, but true picture for all to take notice, Congrats on your Bronze award, well deserved, have a beautiful day, Ken IBT

    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for your kind words. I am glad you enjoyed this piece I wrote from the sadness I viewed when I visited these wonderful animals in their cages.


  • misticmoonlite gold member
    September 23, 2007

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    sad,beautiful and nice

    this is sad, but yet it is nice to see the sanctuary for them as they become more rare,I am against the hunting of animals that are of much beauty, thank you for this lovely Haiku..good luck in our contest..mm

    • freespirit51
      September 24, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the greast comment. I am glad you enjoyed it. To see these animals in captivity is just as bad as hunting them. they all looked so sad.


  • Gigglegasm gold member
    June 10, 2007

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    Fantastic pictures! Your descriptions are wonderful!Great work you raise some great questions here. Thanks for entering!

    • freespirit51
      June 10, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much for your wonderful comment. I saw these beautiful animals in the cages knew something needed to be said. I am glad you liked the photos.


  • Puppydog gold member
    May 31, 2007

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    SO CARING AND BEAUTIFUL!

    What a magnificence animal I do wonder if we are doing the right thing by keeping them caged so they can live without fear. I do feel for their freedom and and often sit and think they should have it.


    • freespirit51
      May 31, 2007
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      Thanks again for you very undeserved words. The piece wrote itself once I viewed these wonderful photos.


      • Puppydog gold member
        June 1, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        DEAR FREESPIRIT51

        You are sincerely welcome. The pictures are awesome!


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    May 30, 2007

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    O' my sister what a wonderful honor for the mighty Cheetah...you have given him a voice as well...cant save what you cage man must make the difference...WINNER wrote all over it

    • freespirit51
      May 30, 2007
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      Thanks my sweet Sister. It is you who have helped give this beatiful creature a voice when you helped me see them through your loving and understanding heart.

  • in-the-twilight
    May 29, 2007
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    Honestly... I like it more this way! Nice! Meg

  • in-the-twilight
    May 29, 2007

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    This is so sad... but a good point... and a beautiful poem and picture... I loved it! Great job! Rock on! xoxo Meg

1 - 20 of 20