A rain of letters
with me
in the suburban street
I dream the moment
my reality of being
now
In the rain
above
the rain
even
I poetry the water
the wind
the ceiling of clouds
puddle-sitting;
wisdoming with snails and
adventurous earthworms
awoken
now
in the rain poetry.
3/14/06
A contest entry
- Pre-write Party 3 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended September 26, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Initial reaction - 9
Poetic devices - 29
Individuality/creativity - 15
Vocabulary - 9
Emotional engagement - 10
Layout/organisation - 5
Spelling/grammar/punctuation - 3
Background/font - 5
Overall impact - 9
Total score - 94
I love this poem; it's a beautiful, contemplative piece. Perhaps just a little more punctuation (I do love the minimalist approach) to break the thoughts and sentences up. The line 'I poetry the water' doesn't seem to make all that much sense to me.
Great imagery - a lovely unique image of sitting in poetry's puddle.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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Love the "I poetry" and snail lines. Very well done.
-
This is one of those poems that has to be read on paper... or screen. The shape brings you right in and sets you up.
Plus, with lines like these:
I poetry the water
and
wisdoming with snails and
adventurous earthworms
awoken
now
in the rain poetry.
Loved it. Adorable.
-
Kind of entrancing, I like it. I like the structure of it, how things are kind of indented arbitrarily... it makes the poem more visually interesting and puts the reader in the poem more effectively.
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