Slaughtered like a broken lamb,
Laying in the crimson blood.
The victim of my anger,
A victim of my love.
My face reflects the calmness,
Of the body at my feet.
The ashen colored skin,
Makes the picture look so sweet.
The daggers gleaming blade,
Is dripping with his life.
My day has been made perfect.
With this gory bloody sight.
A contest entry
- [[Perhaps a little dark. But who can blame a girl for trying?]] by Naridill.
525 points, ended May 31, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Brillant! I think the last line could be changed, it just seemed very akward, but apart from that I loved it!!!
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whoa... ur friggin awesome. it was like watching a movie in my head.
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Wonderful dark writing
Stunning writing, and so dark too. This is a short piece that is so very very powerful. The flow is wonderful, as is the rhyme. The ending of the piece is shocking and really hits home. A really great piece of writing. You are gifted.
Well done
Wayne
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