Dust fills the room
of forgotten memories and
warm molasses and sticky jars
where our fingers left prints
and smears of childish dreams
kept sacred by
youthful innocence.
Dirt roads call to me
from this old, rusty soul
long since buried
within the cluttered spaces
and cobwebs,
the faded floral wallpaper
sings of those days
so long past.
And I hear it,
I hear you whispering
across the bridges of time,
"Remember that honeysuckle morning
when we stopped,
the world spun around
and we stood still
against the banks of Black River."
And now I stand still against
the cold, cracked tears,
and still they silently drop
filling me with the smells of
honeysuckle mourning.
A contest entry
- Dark and/or Love poetry contest, posted from Korea! (ROK) by Akarian.
950 points, ended January 20, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Wow, beautiful and interesting. I've never felt some of these emotions per say, never seen some of these things except in pictures. But you have a gift, your writing conveyed these images and feelings into me with such force that I could see and feel them as if I was you as you wrote this. Great write....wow
-
Becca, this is beautiful. So so sad, but beautiful still. I think I know who the object of this was but I will keep my thoughts to myself on that. I will say this...it put me in mind of a still memory of someone I loved who's still body now lies beneath the surface as I mourn their passing.
~Lyrical
-
wow
This is incredibly beautiful. I love the reminiscent feel of this... the beginning reminded me so of my childhood - a typical country childhood. I also could relate to the ending... how we long for the lost days of innocence and youth... to have those we loved back again as they were.
Your imagery is extremely powerful. I like how you appeal to many senses and awaken us to the intense feelings that memories can bring.
Very well written!
-
i love it, becca, it makes me smile where smiles begin, makes me feel relaxed, peaceful fills my mind with wonderful images...i enjoy the casual, unhuried, eased into feeling like an old comfy robe. there is also a wonderfully lyrical qualtiy to it, makes my soul hum to the sounds of honeybees and ringed turtle doves on a lazy day so heavy with scent you want to curl up into the day and sigh long and deep sighs of satisfaction. A brilliant offering and a trophy contender for sure. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
-
Wow Becca, this is so awesome!!! I love the words you used to express your poem~Fantastic job sista!!!!
-
Honeysuckles smell wonderful. My dad has some on his fence at his house.
I like this a lot. :]
The imagery was wonderful! Good job.
-
what an interesting write you compiled this together~ it has a honeysuckle flow to it as well~ But that could be my unique way of reading it~ I do get the feel of the word~ Nice job~ good luck in the contest!
-
that's fine, the honeysuckle by itself reminds me of saturated(ness) wait, saturation.
i like the line "from this old, rusty soul long since buried within the cluttered spaces and cobwebs"
your imagery is nice. your tone is a little monotonous but i believe thats the way it is supposed to be.
-cassidy
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
