Pleasure drips from my twitching lips.
My victim lays in a blood.
He's eyes still begging for life,
As its mixing with the mud.
My heart beats at my ear drums,
As I watch life ebb away.
The bloody knife I hold,
carved all I meant to say.
His chest bared to reveal,
The message from my heart.
Inscribed were words poetic,
"You are my work of art".
And as his body jerked in pain,
unsteadying my knife.
I carved a broken heart,
And finished off his life.
Author notes
This poem was meant to leave the reader thinking. Inventing their own reason's to why the broken heart was carved. I'd like to hear some feed back on this poem
A contest entry
- Make me scream by WanderingCyclone.
460 points, ended June 12, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SCARE ME TO DEATH by thelovesongwriter.
410 points, ended June 6, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness over takes you and me by ur worse nightmare.
450 points, ended May 31, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Wow
This is really thought provoking, it shows true pain and anquish. The reader almost has a strong sense of sympathy for the killer, very gruesome and well written. I LOVE IT! SO I'LL GIVE YOU SOME OF THESE BADASS MOTHERFUCKERS:
-
Although this is well crafted it was a little too dark for me. Thanks for taking the time though to enter my contest.
-
wait a second, this poem is wonderful! sry about the other message, i wasn't reading the whole thing.. but yeah... ok good luck!
-
short sweet and fuckin brilliant i love it with every read even more
nightmare xx
-
wow, beautiful story. but not what i would personally say scary for me. lol. sorry. but if my contest was love-dark based, i would certainly give you gold!
-
It tells a sad story. Probably something like a break up. It's good. Keep the flow and good luck
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
