Searching for her everywhere
Panic coursing through my veins
Knowing I have to find her
There's everything to gain.
Eyes locking on his face
Shocked at the hatred within
How can he possibly be doing this?
Committing this treacherous sin?
Hand over her mouth
Preventing her screams
Seeing the terror on my face
His eyes begin to gleam.
Running in their direction
As he drags her away
Feeling I've been to Hell and back
On this tear filled day.
He's almost out of sight now
Will I lose my friend today?
Why is he doing this?
Tormenting me with this game he plays?
Weaving in and out of traffic
Cutting across traffic lanes too
Realizing within moments
My panic for her has grew.
Catching sight of him again
Now almost within his reach
Knowing that very soon
There's a lesson I have to teach.
Leaping upon his back
Watching her scramble away
This evil man about to be taught a lesson
About trying to take her away.
Wrestling the gun from his grip
Aiming at his head
Releasing the trigger calmly
Shooting him stone cold dead.
Watching him fall to the floor
Feeling void of any emotion
Blood slowly pooling around
This man lying there broken.
Turning slowly to her
Wrapping her tightly in my arms
Hoping this will be a meaningful lesson
To anyone who does my friends harm.
A contest entry
- Darkness over takes you and me by ur worse nightmare.
450 points, ended May 31, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
fuckin brilliant i love it the emotion is so intense i gets me write in the heart and the imagery was fantastic the read was fabulous i loved it
nightmare xx
-
ish i entered too, but may the best poet get higher regards.

-
'My panic for her has grew'
should be
'My panic for her has [grown]'
^An example of poor grammar and forced ryhme^
Some of your rhyme scheme sounded way too forced and some of your grammar was distasteful. However, the meaning behind the words is strong and the punishment for doing a friend wrong is apparent. A decent write that could use some work. Goodluck!



