Mountains collapsing over the seas
The sky is red, it’s calling dead names
People are awakening, sun stopped shining
The end of earth has come indeed
My gaze travels around the universe
It sees a couple, a hug, a caress
The fire burns, turns them to ashes
The world is gone, entirely dead bushes
Old people chasing unreachable train
Of time and age
It runs full speed towards their ends
The clock is ticking fast
Early births turn to late childhood
Death is upon us, where to escape?
I grasp your hand, try to hold you tight
Where should we go? Where could we hide?
There’s no escape from the death train
When we reach the last station our lives will drain
The end of the journey has come at last
You can rest now, close your eyes
A contest entry
- Open To Anything At All by Poetic Rage.
450 points, ended June 2, 2007, 54 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me if this poem worth a contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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One wonders how long this earth can house all the people that use it now and in the future - with the use of the natural resources, the waste being gotten rid of and the environment being deteriorated so quickly. Like the thoughts you sharev- make us think too of what is in store. Easy to read and understand.
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I like it
Has an air of excitement about it. Poetical in a story
version feel- kind of appealing, though the situation itself is rough.
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this is my favorite
great job -
wow, very strong message without a harsh tone along with lovely imagery all along the path
I love the first sentence as it gives such a grand image, it sets the stage for being global.
Pleasure to read and ponder.
best to you,
Michelle
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This is a very good write. I really love the first stanza. Good job with this one.
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great job, dude...perfection in its most perfect form...i love these lines best:
Mountains collapsing over the seas
The sky is red, it’s calling dead names
People are awakening, sun stopped shining
The end of earth has come indeed
so so dark...
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Very strong message , but in a calmly released way, for the lack of better words!!!! My hat off to you, again, my favorite style of writing!!!!!!! Loved it!!!!!
A fantastic summation of one's life very well presented!!
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This poem is really beautiful in a very chaotic way. I liked the imagery of this, it made me think of an apocolyspe. Great write.
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*awakening, the fire *burns and *turns, my stare travels? I don't know if stare is the best word choice there.
This poem is the bomb, I love it. I think I've read another one of your poems, I like this one better if I'm thinking of the right poem, I would definitely say you have improved. This is great.
My favorite part is:
"I grasp your hand, try to hold you tight, where should we go? Where could we hide?"
I think the last stanza would actually be more effective without "there's no escape from the death train" though because it keeps it metaphorical an it is clear that you mean death from "our lives will drain."
I really love this though, and thats saying something, I have particular taste in poetry.
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