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Pavlov's dog



I don’t know how

to catch my mind
frantic, pacing, racing
through worlds of warwords

Thoughts;
they pick at me
flirt with my mind,
whipping whirlpools of
misarranged sentences

without you I am nothing
nothing am I without you
am I without you nothing

am I?


I try to make sense
of what’s happening,
find a niche
feel safe,
but I can’t find the place
I just can’t find it right now

So I withdraw and
lose myself,
somewhere between
misfired neurons
and Pavlov’s dog

Perhaps I could let go,
if only I could hold on,
but straws crumble
like sugar cubes melt and
my mind jumps around
bouncing marshmallow walls,
pleading with her
to come right out
or just stay sepia

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • chills gold member
    June 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was a wonderful construction. Excuse my conditioned response if I applaud!! Still grasping at straws here.


  • literaryromantic
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    without you I am nothing
    nothing am I without you
    am I without you nothing
    am I?

    a beautiful write.
    wonderfully confused.
    thank you for sharing.


  • Cannonsfire
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very clever write with the confusion imminent and showing through the lines, congrats on your HM, well deserved. Love, C


  • FabApocalypse
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ouch! Been there, still am... ouch! The stanza "So I withdraw..." is astounding. An unsettling write and v ery descriptive. Thank you.


  • pickers silver member
    June 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I liked the images and metaphors in your poem. My favourite part was:

    "without you I am nothing
    nothing am I without you
    am I without you nothing
    am I?"

    It shows a real sense of confusion. Congratulations on your Honourable Mention, too!

  • Philogos gold member
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Like the way the language mirrors the sense of confusion and distraction. I can empathise with the sense of automation that takes over when one is too numb and traumatised (whether by love that went wrong or some more mundane disaster) to think.


  • Floorboards
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    very good

    very good indeed, very well written. thank you very much for entering my contest and good luck to you,
    floorboards.


  • individuality gold member
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i realy like that third verse with the word play, well i like the imagery in all the poem but that third verse is really neat.

1 - 8 of 8