He stands in a crowd yet he stands alone
All he's been through they've never known
He smiles all the time and makes people laugh
Yet all they see is his better half
The pain and darkness is hidden within
He's fighting a fight he might not win
His heart is strong but his soul is broken
His will is small and his mind unspoken
His power to win this battle controls his fate
By the time this ends it may be too late
His heart would be broken, his soul shattered
His will taken, and his mind scattered
He knows the truth of what has been done
To him in the past since his life's begun
One day, I hope, he'll come to me
And ask for help to end the agony
This person is my best friend
He'll always stay that way until the very end
Author notes
Somehow it doesn't feel finished. It's not very good either but it's for a friend...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i think it is very good. i have a friend that has gone/is going through some tough times right now just like your friend. i hope your friend can lean on you the way my friend leans on me. good job.
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I actually really like this poem, despite the fact that I'm not a fan of the AA BB CC etc rhyme scheme. You've used it well here, and it certainly compliments the two line stanzas. The only thing that I think could be improved would be the last stanza, it seems to be a break from the rest of the poem, and feels slightly out of place, especially the "of course" which throws off the flow of the piece. Consider removing those words, or even changing the entire last stanza, and I believe this could be an amazing piece.
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ember-blair
I think you did a wonderful job. The fact that you wrote this or a friend is VERY nice of you. Keep writing, you are talented.
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