She was a lady
Had that chemical glow
from straw-sipping vodka-red,
or was it the strobe that highlighted
her sweating cold-turkey attempt.
I could see veins joining the dots,
like a lunar landscape with too many
comet hits, but even the moon would
be jealous of her wafer-paper silver skin.
Her once brown/blonde/red hair,
dreadlocked its way across her
blackberry face, looking like someone
had sucked all the juice out,
and I bet that given a mallet her ribs
would have made a fine xylophone,
or snapped like deadwood.
Even now she drew a crowd,
but after the rent money runs out
sympathy only buys so many drinks.
In the cavern between her thighs
a bullet wound hid. A warm wet circle
surrounded by skin that others called a woman.
She would be spit-roast at a
carnal barbeque, a little over-done
but still soft, warm on the inside.
She’ll wake in the morning,
Saturday night’s sour-cream stench
lacing last seasons Victoria’s Secrets,
and her dignity, once again, lies
like discarded armour on an unmade bed,
and she remembers when
she was a lady.
A contest entry
- For My Friends - Anything you want! by Cupcrazy.
900 points, ended June 8, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Battle of Sex ~~ I mean battle of the sexes ~~ GUYS ONLY HERE by Naridill.
525 points, ended October 26, 2007, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Favorite Poems by Avatar of Innocence.
400 points, ended December 27, 2007, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Yay!!! Healthy competition here we come...congrats on your Bronze
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Loved it, tasted with pure elegance. Such a beautiful and mesmerizing look at the weaker species [oops, I am fem-bot, does not compute].
Awesomely done!! Abstract enough in ways that it isn't plain obvious but simple to read.
Much luck.
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oh my god man! I loved it!
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, i liked this~ its passionate ~ through and through~ nice job!!!
Good luck in the contest ~ glad to see you entering in the battle of the sex's contest! -
haha! hehe! Was I supposed to laugh? 
Don't want bitches with bullet wounds screeching at me 
You're raw...but very good indeed Thanks for sharing. Hugs'n'Snugs. Laura x
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This was breath-taking! Amazing write! It's the best I've read today. It's one I'll remember. Best of luck to you in the contest.
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Such wording really makes the imagery all that more corrosive. Great job
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An excellent write. Very vivid imagery combined with unique phrasing makes this a compelling read. Loved it, thanks for this excellent entry. Hugs, Bunny
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Very good imagery. I like how different you were. Your scenarios...or umm..scenery is very unique from others...
thanks for entering -
Poet, this poem is a moving reality. U have used powerful imagery to add life into it. Keep this up. I love narrative pieces. Good day.
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You have very good imagery in this poem and have placed the reader in the shoes of this woman. This is really sad and well written. I really liked the second stanza and the second to last stanza. Very good. Keep it up! ^_^
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I like the imagery that comes from this, and the feeling. It's very ... professionally written (can I say that?) Bleeding brilliant, dear. Seems like the lace and harlots mix.
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Wonderful
Not quite what I was expecting from the title but loved it nonetheless. The image is startling containing so much truth. I love the last two lines. Well done
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well this poem waas awsome you have a real talent for writing poetry keep it up this poem was soo sad but i love sad poems or poems all together keep writing and keep adding all the emotions like you put in this poem i would like to comment on a fwe more things how do you put soo much emotion itno your poems i have been having a little problems with that now back to your poem this poem was verry nice you should try to sell it you could probly make alot of money off it or at least a little or thats what i think as i said very good keep it up and dont stop writing over and out bringer of missery
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SUPERB
Full of pathos, it is so spontaneous, almost effortless. It has a sound pattern which is very difficult to come by. Words fail to praise it. One of the best I have come accross in Allpoetry.
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Awesome Write - what a sad story but so true. Love your imagery and those wonderful final lines
You're a fantastic writer!! Great luck to you in the contest! Betsy
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brilliant...
Stark and bitter imagery... I love the passage:
"her dignity, once again, lies
like discarded armour on an unmade bed"
Excellent!
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