A strange fog rolls down unbidden
And all the stars are now hidden.
Before too long this thick mist clears
And things that lurk shall birth your fears.
Those points of light that had lead you
Are now differant in place and hue!
The land rolls up where it was down,
The plain you travelled, now a town.
Your luck is gone, you do suspect,
And dread creeps in, composure wrecked.
Of creatures vile that rise at night,
You shall endure their ghastly sight.
Stay off the moors, keep to the road,
Lest evil things are quickly showed.
A fool's errand is what you tread
Now that you're in this land so dread.
The streets of every place are bare.
All folk stay inside and beware.
No traveler's knock will unbar doors,
Or gain you shelter from horrors.
Each domain's lord rules o'er its land
With claw or fang instead of hand.
Vampires, spectres, lycanthropes, ghosts,
These tormenters are now your hosts.
On blood they'll drink, or steal your soul,
Or rend your flesh, or consume whole.
Please watch your ways, else you shall change,
Slowly into something so strange.
This land of mists will be your doom
When denizens of darkness loom.
By light of moon, your life's undone.
In Ravenloft, you're trapped, my son!
Author notes
"Ravenloft", a trademarked name in D&D, is an ultra-gothic campaign setting. I flatly refuse any monetary profits that might be offered by this poem.
A contest entry
- Something Frightful This Way Comes by Tom The Invader.
450 points, ended June 21, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark and Suspensful by God is my reality.
1400 points, ended February 23, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt Contest~! by xxFallen Dreamsxx.
475 points, ended April 22, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Embracing the Night by Night Terrors.
400 points, ended August 4, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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nice one this was really interesting to me thank you for entering it
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wow thats pretty freaky!
i like how you painted the image of a dark night, and the awsomeness with which you rhymed it.
thank you for entering and good luck with the contest!
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Good flow, good theme, however, what you are lckign is details. I can see what your writing, but it doesn't quite jump otu at me. although overall it was really well made
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No details? The stars and land changed, you can't find shelter from the night's predators, which are all listed and then described. Indeed...
You've got to break away from the constant and standard one-on-one horror walk-through where some twisted father mutilates his child, and consider an entire land that is packed with supernatural and transmundane monsters, (but one where fathers still adore and protect their families).
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Que inspira miedo! Very eerie. Again another wonderful work. It takes me to another place and time.
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ROTFLMFAO! I'm glad that you guys enjoyed this. Just pray that Luskan's pirate temple doesn't become this poem, eh?!
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CAUSE THIS IS!!!!!!!!!!!
THRILLLER!, THRILLLER !, NIGHT. YOUR FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. GET UP, GET UP, GET UP, AAAWWWWWWWWWWWW! -
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I totally heard Vincent Price the whole time reading.
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Trollstorm
Very excellent communication of the darkness that is Ravenloft! I like it!
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The story is a good one written well and for the most part the rhyme/rhythm is good...however, I was a bit put off by the reference to the fantasy game. I know nothing about it, and I am sure there are others who also cannot relate to it...however, if you were so inclined, you could edit out or alter the reference to give this a more universal appeal (or maybe I'm just too old to "get it", lol)
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Well, you're not as old as my almost 44 years, to be sure. I must keep the reference, as it is my muse. The reader must be able to bend to the idea of accepting a game setting as easily as they would accept stepping into a theatre to partake of Middle Earth in Lord of the Rings.
If you take the wormwood out of absinthe, you get a decent liquor, but it's not the real deal any longer. For those who need an alternate reference (and a close one), try making a Dirty Bird Martini without Vermouth (or Lillet). -
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I think I understand where you are coming from, though
in my perpective, when I got to the last line and it mentioned Ravenloft..I though what the 'h' is that? sorry...kind of ruined the end for me...but that is not to say the poem wasn't crafted well. AND..I do agree the Green Fairy is grounded without her dust, lol
and, btw,(repectfuly) 'old' is a funny thing...some count it in years, some count it in experience. Give me life over fantasy any day.
By all means dance to your muse.
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Oh dear gods... Have I met my match? First the Drow and Underdark and now Ravenloft! Excellent rhyme, and the tone is perfect. Much love for this!
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oh this is wonderful, spuspencefull ,and just scary. Well written..and I hope that this doesn't offend you but it..kind of has a Thriller feel to it... Well done once again you are really talented!
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Thanks, Nereida. Yeah, I totally heard Vincent Price's voice narrating this while I penned it!! LOL
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WOW! Very cool!
Great imagry and managed it in Rhyme and meter as well. Nicely done!
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Great job, a little long for me, but it was good. Excellent and consistent rhyme scheme Good luck in the contest
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great as usual
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Halloween is my favorite holiday, and if you don't mind, I want to print this out to read next year at my annual party. This was extremely well rendered, no surprise there. It gave me all sorts of ghoulish feelings. It took me back to my favorite time of year instantly, it's such a fun read. Let me know if I have your consent to use it. You will be getting credit, of course.
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Awesome write, yet another...what a way with words. The flow and imagery are simply amazing. Just a wonderful read :-)
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hehe, when you said Ravenloft, I was thinking isn't that a D&D setting? And then I read your notes!
Good job on this, gave me a shivery feel!
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