I saw her across a crowded dance floor,
the Bass was booming she swayed like a whore.
My mind saw nothing but her pink pussy lips,
I decided to go on over and give her a trip.
She danced by herself, by the beer stand,
I sauntered up behind her, took her free hand.
Pulling her to me as she turned around,
I kissed her deeply without making a sound.
She swayed when we parted her eyes open wide,
the expression on her face she didn't hide.
I looked deep in her eyes, they were a beautiful green,
just walked off the floor [didn't want to cause a scene].
She followed me quickly, I knew then I had her hooked,
she was practically running when I glanced back to look.
I went to the stairwell, opened the door,
went down two flights to an abandoned floor.
She came down the stairs, a gleam in her eyes,
that was when my dick started to rise.
She dropped down before me and unzipping my pants,
I muttered: "Do it now baby, might not get another chance"
She slammed me against the wall, stripped off my jeans,
took my cock in her mouth, blew me to smithereens.
Licking, slurping, moaning, as she fingered her clit,
I stripped off her blouse, fondled a tit.
She licked slowly up to my belly, my chest,
Oh my God, she turned me on, I wanted the rest.
She slipped out of her skirt as our tongue's did a dance,
God she was so sexy, a one in a million chance.
I sucked on her neck, slid my tongue to a nipple,
cock throbbing so hard, it's size must have tripled.
Down past her tits my roving tongue went,
to lick on her shaved pussy, I didn't relent.
She bucked and she screamed, my lips sucking her in,
she yelled she was cumming, I just had to grin.
Her legs went all shaky, she started to buckle,
thats when I thrust into her, right up to the knuckle.
Rubbing her "G" spot for all I was worth,
she threw back her head, laughed with true mirth.
She came all over my fingers, rubbing deep inside,
her guttural growls she did nothing to hide.
I picked her right up, impaled her on my cock,
wrapping her legs around me, ankles interlocked.
We leaned up against the wall as I moved in her slowly,
she yelled "faster, faster, for all that is holy".
Slamming into her, her back against the wall,
making damn sure that she couldn't fall.
We fucked for what seemed like forever, got that feeling inside,
it was time to finish up this wild bucking bronco ride.
I moaned and I gasped as she tightened her noose,
my balls slapping into her, I'm gonna cut loose.
She gasped, sighed as I buried myself within,
said: "I'm cumming baby please tell me when".
Twisting, squirming I wriggled 'round inside,
my God what a feeling, as I finished this ride.
We came together as her legs gave a twitch,
she smiled and laughed , saying "son of a bitch".
I put my arm around her as we slid to the floor,
her legs still twitching as I glanced at the door.
I Looked in her eyes and saw stars from the heavens,
she remarked to me, Damn! you just rolled seven's.
I asked her her name, she blinked twice and said,
Hi, my names Cassandra, I said Hi, mine is Fred.
Author notes
Griswold
Options: #6 & 8
Love you Tory.
In a list
A contest entry
- Orgasmic by remembering Jo.
360 points, ended June 11, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Erotic poetry...nothing sensual! 24 hours closing time by ExpectingMommy18.
300 points, ended November 13, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 69 by Ravenblood.
300 points, ended November 18, 2007, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn Me On by Sinfully Yours.
400 points, ended April 29, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
'grats on the two Gold & the Bronze!
lmao;
I confess I laughed reading this -
not because it is bad ... but c'mon, sex is fucking hilarious
and sex this intense with tripled in size cocks and squirming dancing whores
what is not there for me to laugh at
it is pleasurably erotic in all the right ways, don't get me wrong
but still Fred I couldn't help laughing
I hate long writes but I was glued to this cause I was dying to know
what was coming next (no pun intended)
-
Licorish whip yum.
Gimmie more!
-
The ultimate fling, rellentless in it's intensity. Fucking simply for fucking's sake. Never tried it but god it sounds like the perfect dream. Had to giggle at the last two lines, what a scream!
-
Thanks for entering the contest, however this doens't correctly follow the rules I had placed (no names mentioned). I understand its a prewrite and it was a good read, so thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!
-
That's freaking hot as all hell. Damn that was good. lol I think I've been there too lol
Ms. Bliss
-
I very much liked this,,, very much but it seems you have already won a bunch of trophies from it so im hesitant to put you as a finalist, maybe you could submit a new one for me??
-
-
I would love to, but I do not write this explicit of poetry anymore. I truly had forgotten it had won, i had not seen this poem in a long time. I just picked it out of my list, I'll submit another that hasn't won.
-
-
definately cant believe you posted this.
Tory -
Quite interesting verse you have. Great descriptions. Good luck to you.
**Master Ktulu** -
I haven't read this, nto yet.but it seems like a great poem from all the comments. could you please just put your name in the authors comments.. thank you.
Claire-Anne -
wow this is amazing.time to go take a cold shower or something
you did a great job with this peice here.
thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest!
-
Very interesting!!
This is very discriptive... and very interesting. I still have no idea what the background is... but your in the finals.
x x x
-
Definately got me hot...
Hot steamy sex!!! This said it all. I really enjoyed this. Got me hot and ready to go clubbing! Nice job. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Sunshine
-
Very hot, sexy write. rhyming poems like this are some times harder then what people realize, to not sound forced is hard to do, but I found very little of that. Good imagery and descriptive couplets. Good luck in the contest, thanks for entering.
-
I dont want to know whom you wehre thinking about here...my eyes are BROWN between you and Barrel of rocks one of youw ould of got my eyes right..next time..no cock sucking until you get my eye color right.. you can call me whatever the FUCK you want..just get the eyes right.
Well done here enjoyed it.. a little too much i think)
Love you too
-
-
<=== *beating head*, Brown not Green, Brown not Green, Brown not Green, Brown not Green, Brown not Green, Brown not Green,
-
-
A new meaning
you have given to couplettes.
I really enjoyed this.
-
I am not being insulting, but this is not erotic to me. It is sex, but it's not erotic. There are some words that destroy the delicate balance between erotic and explicit. That is my opinion only, and I am quite often termed impossible to please--so don't take it to heart.
The background was thoroughly distracting, too. It was very difficult to keep my eyes focused on the letters, so it diminished the overall impact of the poem.
Aside from those things, I do appreciate your entry. I wish you luck in the contest. -
LOL!
I had to laugh. It has some pretty hot parts but for the most part it was so light and funny that I was distracted from the fact that it was erotica. I like to read (and strive for myself on occasion) erotica that leaves me hot and bothered and needing a really cold shower. Or that makes me feel like I just had mind-blowing sex (and yes that is possible with a poem, generally more difficult than a story though). Awesome background. Awesome story. I think the rhyming makes it seem to childish though, and a lot of the words seemed like they were forced into the poem to make the rhyme scheme work, even when something else would've worked better.
Interesting though. I like the image it gave me.
-
I like the use of a simile at the beginning of your poem and the double lined rhyme but you brought down the standard of that by repeating the word ‘hand’ in line 3, form that point I’ll be honest the rhyme didn’t quite go as smoothly as I would have liked I feel it was rather forced with things like hooked and look (line 5). I would consider changing unzipped to unzipping but that is a personal preference and not one that is beating down your talent as a writer I noticed a few typo’s things like of instead of off etc…overall this is quite a good poem you have a vast amount of imagery and have personalised to the readers thoughts which most erotic poems lack they just go for the full blown vulgarity. Well done and thank you for entering the 2007 raven contest I wish you the very best of luck
Moonlight raven
-
wow amazing poem- it was a winner before i even finished, the last line made me chuckle, good luck
xx
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
