I remember the waves
washing those glistening stars
onto the sandy shore,
and the moon tainting the clouds
with silver and grey.
The top of the water
glowed white with foam,
and the breeze whispered to me
the same soft song
as the swoosh of the tide.
You didn't speak in that quiet place,
only listened, breathless,
to the sounds of utter safety
spoken in the ocean's sweet voice.
A contest entry
- Option Contest by Beating.
600 points, ended June 14, 2007, 39 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your happy place. by samantha jean.
800 points, ended July 21, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
options 7, safety. this is discribing the one and only time I've been to the ocean, and ever since, I've always wanted to go back.
Comments
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Now this is a beautiful poem. A poem I can definitly connect with. I live in Connecticut which is by the Atlantic Ocean. I've grown up on the CT River that leads out to the Ocean. I know how you feel, once you see the ocean there's just something that keeps pulling you back.
Keep up the good work!
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Thank you.
I wish I lived by the ocean. Or even just a river. But, alas, I'm in a very landlocked area. *sadness*
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How soft and sweet this poem is. I too love the sea and it's alluring, mystical presence. You have imprinted an image in my mind of a calm, gentle ocean. Good luck in the contest. Julie.
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*sigh* Yes, and how I wish I could go back! And thanks. I need luck.
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This is quite charming. Fill of enticing imagery it captures the raw essence of the ocean.
I have only one small suggestion, (since it is free-verse and that is my forte) the current style is not to center it but to flush it left. It took me several hundred poems before I got used to it, but now I see why it is the preferred style.
Just a suggestion, you have much talent. Keep writting@
Marianne -
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thanks. I'll try to remember to do that.
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Wow, this was breathtaking. I could really feel the safety in your tone when I was reading this. I really liked the last 4 lines, the words you used were powerful and moving. I live on a small island, there is sea wherever I go, but sometimes I forget how awesome it is. Great write!
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I'm glad I helped you remember, because I'm EXTREMELY jealous of you. I'm as land-locked as you get. The biggest body of water we see is brown and turned your white bathing suits yellow. And the catfish in it are disgusting.
I hope your ocean is much cleaner.
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wow. I don't live that far from the ocean + I live in a very small country surrounded by water, so going to the ocean is something I've done a lot of times. I share your love for it - it's so magnificant and amazing!
This is a very poetic, beautiful piece. I really love the last two lines! -
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thank you. Everyone likes the last lines best, but for me, the most beautiful part of it is the beginning five. They speak to me more, I suppose, because they discribe the most vivid memory I have of the ocean. *smile* You're lucky to live so close to it.
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