Why Not?

Alarm clock screamin' and the night has passed.
I don't want to go to school. I'm tired of being harassed.
My first period class I share with a grade below.
I failed math last year. Why? I don't know.
I hate my classmates cause their loud as fuck.
I tryed to make it out this year, but I'm stuck
cause I'm dumb as hell and I hate myself.
When people meet me, they start to hate themselves.
I can't get through the day without starting a fight.
I don't know what to do, I try to what's right,
but it seems like I always manage to fuck shit up.
I'm praying to nobody to take this cup
from me. Cause I don't want to drink it's poison.
I see things that aren't there and I hear voices.
I used to take pills to use as a suppressant.
I threw them all out cause they're supportive-depressants.
I smoke too much. I'm broke so much,
I can't afford a gum ball cause it costs too much.
I'm sitting in the closet with a note and gun.
I'm the only one, the lonely one.
I can't see my girlfriend more than once a week.
I'm wired up on Full Throttle, I need to tweak.
My family hates me, my mom's becoming a bitch.
I smoked on my school bus and someone snitched
and I owe 20 dollars that I can't afford.
I can't make a deal with them, I can't make an accord.
My best friend's turning his back every now and then.
He's pulled this bullshit over again and again.
I wanna get high but I made a promise.
I look around my house and I want to bomb this.
Cause I hate myself, I hate this hell.
My life at home is like a prison cell.
It's cold and I don't have a family here.
I did once. I call them. Somehow they can't hear.
I don't know what ever happened to life that I had.
It all went away. I said goodbye to me dad.
When I was 11 years old, he walked out the door.
He hated me. Now, I hate him so much more.
I try to be nice but it doesn't help.
You don't know! Don't say you know how I felt
when my mom turned her back and so did my brother!
All I want now is some love from my mother
but that's too much to ask. I mean, I guess for me.
I don't understand why fuckers won't let me be.
I can't take it no more. That's all! I quit!
It's all the same to me, and I'm tired of this shit.
A rope in my hand, I start tying a knot.
I think of hanging myself, and then think...

...why not...