Awaken in the night,
hear the purring, 'cause
you never snore. Watch
the rise and fall of the covers.
Your hair is silver,
eyelids flecked with light,
hands flutter,
you're in conversation with your dreams.
The moon spills into the room.
So quiet, I can hear it fall.
I paddle back
up the river of dreams
to find you.
11:19 AM
05/28/07
Newington, VA
In a list
A contest entry
- Cantata of Moons & Stars by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended June 12, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Oh. This is a very nice poem that you have here.
I like it! The words are very simple and smooth. You move from image to image and it all makes perfect sense. I can see the person beside you engage in restful dreams and you there admiring them. I like how at the end you say you go back to sleep just so you can join them. That's so pretty. You did a good job of expressing yourself.
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This is beautiful...utterly soft and gentle. I think one of the most amazing experiences in life is the quiet contemplation and joy of watching a loved one asleep in their dreams... Sighhhhs... now I know what I'm missing! The first stanza so made me smile...lol, I can hear the denial about not "snoring" but "purring". A wonderfully concise piece of light this is... excellent.
Thank you so much for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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very restful. I enjoyed this. I especially like how you described the rise and fall of the covers, it reminded me an ocean tide or something. There was lots of lovely water imagery scattered throughout this which was also nice.
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Such sweet dreams of love even when that dream is shared...The moon spills into the room. So quite, I can hear it fall.I paddle back up the river of dreams to find you WONDERFUL! Thank you for sharing
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Your gifts of joy and piece are a wonder to receive. Thank you. Be blessed and at peace.
Love, Tom B.
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I know I entered this
contest, but after reading
your poem a gold trophy
is only a gold trophy -
I don't care about winning
because I already have the
prize. Love, Lane
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Now I sit and listen and feel the wind blow your hair across my face. I can tell the sun stole its light from your hair and I want to spend time letting my fingers know each stand so I will see just how ... I will write tomorrows poem hear and then what will I do. Each day making me look closer at myself and where the center of my heart is. It day makes one , this one, dig a little deeper.
Love, Tom B.
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You really opened the door and invited us in on this one. Wonderful flow of thought and it just felt like I was right there, listening to your mind speak and then I simply "sighed"...
A pleasure to read ~Tia
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The only door I have opened is to my heart. It speaks volumes and sometimes I can even be brave enough to hear all that it is telling me.
Love, Tom B.
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And dreams can feel so real to the person dreaming them, and amazing to the one who watches in silence. You capture the softness of the moment. Love, C
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Hmm this is just one of those moments. Thanks
Love,Tom B.
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Such a sweet 'interuption', I'm sure. Lovely language, imagery and sentiment. All beauty.
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I was on a jag of poetic out pouring at work this morning. So no customers and I let it flow. I got to work on the others just a little more. I am glad that you found the joy in this piece. Love, Tom B.
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sigh~
This is breathtaking, my friend...
"The moon spills into the room.
So quiet, I can hear it fall.
I paddle back
up the river of dreams
to find you."
I was captivated from line one, but this last part left me in a sigh...
So beautiful!
Lynda
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You make me smile with all your sweet joy. Thank you.
Love,Tom B.
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"The moon spills into the room.
So quiet, I can hear it fall.
I paddle back
up the river of dreams
to find you."
Ahhh, sublime this is, my Friend...I used to watch my beloved sleep...he'd awaken with a gentle smile, knowing I'd protected his slumber...but we both snored...
Good luck in Nic's contest, Poet...
Wanda
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it was a combination of the challenge and my working on silence.
I too have watched the slumber of a loves sleep and found myself with tears before I sleep. I snore loudly. Thanks for all your joy and sweet praise.
Love,Tom B.
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Softly spoken for the land of dreams can be many things. I like the line the moon spills into the room, lovely! Good luck in your contest ~Sie
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Thanks for the visit and the praise. I hope that joy has gifted your day. Be blessed.
Love, Tom B.
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Beautiful! Restful! Peaceful and enchanting! You are forever leaving me brethless Tom. This word-art is no exception. I do not understand why I am not stalking your pages. LOL I hope your wife shares in our endless joy! I am more than sure she does, and always will. Your words flow with the current of a quiet, rippling but stilled stream. So many visuals with so few words. I love this!
Much Love Always ♥
Renee
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I know you have watched the face of your love at peace, asleep, as you recognize all the love you have for them. I sing from the joy your words bring my heart. Be blessed and at peace.
Love, Tom B.
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Omg! This is gorgeous! The feeling of watching one sleep and being peaceful is such a great feeling."You're in conversation with your dreams" Love this line and how true it is when we dream, we often feel we truely speak to these visions."I paddle back up the river if dreams to find you"Awesome, makes me wonder is it the writer who is dreaming at this time rather than watching another.
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Wanted something soft. I am glad you caught this magical drifting feeling in this. I felt it as I wrote, but am never sure if all the words hold the same feeling for someone else. Thanks.
Love, Tom B.
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