Her head is tilted back
like in a picutre.
captured so lovley
and she was shining,
shinning so glamouriously
Her smile is bright,
brighter than sky,
and everday it seemed;
she was on a sugar high
Her arms graced every
moment and
page,
Her legs danced along wild flowers,
and danced upon stage
What a beautiful picture
it was,
but the paint strokes held lies
For,
Her Beautiful eyes shine with
suicide
© 2007, Angie Romans. All rights reserved.
No republication of this material, in any form or medium, is permitted without express permission of the author.
A contest entry
- Write Whatever You Want by ShadedRose.
370 points, ended August 18, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So bored by xXLoveXx.
525 points, ended August 22, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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whoa...I like the way you write. makes me want to keep your stuff really close to me.
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I think you mean "shining" rather than "shinning", but otherwise you seem to have a knack for writing. Meter without blatant form.
I'd have written "danced upon //the// stage" just for rhythm's sake but no big deal.
And as for the subject matter, I can't say I personally really enjoy or sympathise with depressive=suicide writes, but at least you wrote it well.
=> Jess
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WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
loved it!!!
it did such a turn around at the end!!! amazing ending very very very well done!!!!!!!!!
"but the paint strokes hold lies
For,
Her Beautiful eyes shine with
suicide "
keep writting
peace out
love HB
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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thank you for your wonderful entry in this contest! you are truly talented. points and trophies dont need that to prove it!
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That was so sad yet so beautiful. I love your style of writing, it was great. Thanks for entering!
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This is beautiful... but also sad. I hate suicide with a passion... it is a sign.. not for a broken heart but for lack of dignity. Broken hearts mend with time.. it may not seem like they ever will but in time, they will heal. Great write, it flowed nicely.
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rrgh. ok. so i would love to rant and hate on you but i wont cause i know you mean no harm. but next time dont say something like that to a suicidal, and im not even suicidal. but saying i lack dignity....*sigh* makes me feel kinda bad ya know?
ty for the comment
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another kickass poem angie
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whoa. wow. thats a unepected ending. i reeeaaalllyyy like it. soooo asome. your always good.
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Transcend All
Groovy,tragic,Beautiful,painful,Sexy,dark,colorful ! I saw and felt every one of these! Thank you for sharing apart of yourself with us once again.
Namaste' -
Transcend All
Groovy.traggic.Beautiful.dark.Sexy.painful. I enjoyed it thank you for sharing a part of yourself!
Namaste'
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This is amazing because it's so true; alot of people who commit suicide give no clues whatsoever, even in their eyes. They may be enduring torture, yet no one sees.
Return the favor?
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very simply written and with great effect. I enjoyed it very much
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