You came home today
Once again, you'd nothing to say
Don't you know
That I can see
Your thinking of someone
But it's not me
'cause there's something in your eyes
and it's telling me
You've come to realize
That it won't be me
I'm running out of time
Your tired of being mine
but what am I to do
if I can't go on...loving you.
I gave everything I had
to the belief you loved me so
My world was based on everything we shared
Now you stand there saying nothing
expecting me to just let go
It's breaking me to believe you never cared.
'cause there's something in your eyes
and it's telling me
you've come to realize
that it won't be me
I'm running out of time
You're tired of being mine
but what am I to do
if I can't go on...loving you.
A contest entry
- Write to me...sing to me... by Angel of Musik.
700 points, ended June 16, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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W@W....
W@W -
Great job
I love how it rhymes but doesn't sound forced. This is an awesome poem. Keep up the good writing and the best of luck to you! -
That was really relateable for me.
great job.
You came home today
Once again, you'd nothing to say
Don't you know
That I can see
Your thinking of someone
But it's not me
That was an awesome opening and well rhymed at that.
Might I suggest for future writes, though, that maybe you use the word "me" a little less consecutively? It's a great write though. thanks -
Beautifully sad lyrics Martin.When the flame of love dies it sometimes leaves the embers burning in the other halfs heart. You capture the feelings well and I'm sure some one here could put a wonderful melody to this exceptional write...Good luck in the contest my friend......mal
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Thanks
Hey Mal. Thanks for the kind assessment. I wrote that some years back, and only pulled it out of the mothballs for the song contest. I used to primarily write lyrics[at least that's what I called them],but I'm glad to see some are still enjoying it. Speak to ya' soon...
Martin
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Oh before I even seen that this was in a contest, as I was reading along, and started humming, and thought What a great song this would be...and then to see the contest..So you won hands down on this one with me..So tender and bittersweet, when you relaize "that look" in your loved ones eyes. almsot as if the fire has burned out...well done!
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