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Full Moon

Full Moon - delirious diseaster
I am your servant.  You're my master.
The saddest face - the darkest tale
About a girl in yellow veil.
You are my love, you're my obsession
Am I your love or your possesion?
Don't hide behind a glass of cloud
I'll call your name.  You'll turn around
And I won't see you for a while
And I will miss your rueful smile.
You're not mine yet, but will be soon
My sin, the light side of the Moon.

Author notes

Option 1

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 17 of 17

  • Para-Dressage
    August 6, 2007

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    nice i like i like alot. short simple and oh so bitter sweet a lovely write this is my favourite part:
    "You are my love, you're my obsession
    Am I your love or your possesion?"

    an age old question frased so beautifully i love the title too it fits right in thank you for entering


  • FleetingImage
    August 4, 2007
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    i loved reading this poem it flowed and had a nice use of words...good luck


  • SeaWithYourHeart
    July 27, 2007

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    Wow this is bloomin good totally love it fantastic rhyme i love the double theame going through this it made me read it twice.
    "Full Moon - delirious diseaster
    I am your servant. You're my master."
    love the beginning great i knew exactly which option you had chosen so well done

    "You are my love, you're my obsession
    Am I your love or your possesion?
    Don't hide behind a glass of cloud
    I'll call your name. You'll turn around" This was my favorite bit becasue of the double s and the way you have worded it. the rythmn is spot on. it sounds like an addiction with the moon.
    congratulations and good luck in my contest.


  • parasol
    July 25, 2007

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    This was very lovely. It had much determination of love. It was very well written. The rhyming flowed well and did not seem forced. I also liked the picture you selected to go with the poem.

    Thank you for entering. Best of luck in my contest.
    - Andi


  • Girl With Guitar silver member
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Freaky image here. I loved the imagery within the poem, a great write all in all. Well done and thank you for the entry.

    Bandaid.


  • vierna
    July 18, 2007
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    Bloody brilliant work. I really enjoyed reading it very much, and I appreciate your entry but I'm not clear about your deepest pain and its resolution: my two conditions for this contest.


  • IndividualEleven
    July 16, 2007

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    Crazy pic, and very nice write....... short but strong, and flows well, great job and thanks for entering!!!                 - Jacen.


  • reckless abandon
    July 16, 2007
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    This poem flowed nicely, it had great rhythm. I really liked reading this.


  • Pixie Girl
    July 15, 2007

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    i liked this but the last few lines didn't make much sense to me. the words were magical and darkly glamourous. Thank you for not turning this into a "i killed her with the knife that i slit my wrists with" poem.


  • Nephalaneous lover
    July 9, 2007
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    very lovely, enjoyed reading thank you for entering, good luck


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    July 8, 2007

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    I absolutley loved the way it all rhymed. it was so breath-taking. thanks for the awesome entry in my contest
    xo
    kandy


  • Flying-Flamingo13
    July 7, 2007

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    I like the poem, but can you please include a link to your picture in either the poem or the authors comments box please? Thank you!


  • Death of the Author
    July 4, 2007

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    Aww wow this is absolutely amazing! I loved every line of it, especially that last one. I really liked how you split the lines into short, sharp sentences, the rhyme and flow were very good too ^^ x take care and good luck in the contests! x


  • Dead Hair
    July 2, 2007

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    Very powerful words, especially the line- 'Am I your love or your possesion?' I also love the thin line between love and obsession here. Very true. Lovely write!


  • Swan song gold member
    June 27, 2007

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    Excellent dark poewm with perfect rhythm and nice strong rhyme. This poem has a very strong beat and it lifted right off my tongue. Very good indeed!


  • Ari in Wonderland
    May 28, 2007

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    Lovely

    It's wonderful, the relationship between the servant and master. Good imagery. Aside from a few spelling errors,overall good penmanship.


  • Congruence
    May 28, 2007

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    You did well to keep the rhyme, I thought some parts did not work that well, but then I looked at your style and came to the conclusion that there was quite a unique take behind this piece, I think over all this is a good dark/fantasy write.

1 - 17 of 17