The entire mythology
In my mind
Of who I am,
How I came to be,
Why I'm here
Stops here:
A blinding nexus,
When I held you for the first time
Joss Stone playing in the background,
Traffic from 75 intruding subtly
Knowing
No one
Could fill me so completely
As you have, as you continue to do,
Even in your absence
Obscene,
How even my undying love
Only fuels your disdain
How my voice
Only feeds your silence.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
-
Sweet.
Reminiscing much? Ah...nice use of words...especially the.. 'Joss Stone playing in the background,
Traffic from 75 intruding subtly' par
-
life teaches us lessons even within the silence and even tho it may seen cruel at the moment of time... somehow we remain even stronger...allowing us to continue within the path that we choose.
thank you for your insight.
one day I myself may need this lesson.
Bill

-
Gorgeoussss....
You placed all these fantastic visions in my head....Just...wow...
*inhales and exhales repeatedly*
-
i love your writing!!!!!its soooooooo cool
-
you made your words come from inside
and hit the surface on impact
cool stuff -
nice
great use of words, original. I love the last five lines. I like how you use one love to define who you are and how it has made you that person from one point in time, and how it twisted into something else by the end of the poem. overall better than most i have read on this site.
-
one has to wonder or at least I do? Does your heart hear tick tock ?
I love how in your writes you can hear the intimate tone of dirty sex and sweat stained sheets.


-
i like
-
why cant i write like this?
-
This is heartfelt! I feel a wanton desire here that can't be turned away from. I have felt the scorch of unrequited love and it is not an easy emotion to turn off. I came here because the forum listed a topic with the link to your page. I am having a first impression reaction, and I like what I've discovered. I must go back to the forums now and thank the person who began the thread on you. My guess is that you are somebody special.
"The entire mythology
In my mind
Of who I am,
How I came to be,
Why I'm here..."
There are reasons for everything under the sun, including the reason (whatever it may be) for me reading your work today. I like!
april nicole


-
i like this it a little 2 short 4 me i like long writes but it's till good.. This piece makes you thirsty 4 more

-
I like this one because it feels like a blackout. Love (or lack of it) seems to take away everything, and fixes eyes on only one vision.
"Obscene,
How even my undying love
Only fuels your disdain"
That hits home for me. The word "bitch" comes to mind for it's hard to comprehend how a feeling person could twist this kind of love into hatered.
"How my voice
Only feeds your silence."
Strange, isn't it? Yet, it's a phonomenon I know well.
Pretty decent write here. I love it's personal quality.

-
Damned good, Gio. Sometimes you just can't win.. no matter what choice you make, its the wrong one. Damn.


1 - 13 of 13












