As stellar eyes sparkle
through the black silk
sheathed sky
stealth fingers stroke
slow strum
with heavy breaths
entangled bodies
in nebular motion
conceding to love
are
you and I.
In a list
A contest entry
- Cantata of Moons & Stars by Nicolette.
1050 points, ended June 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Great Write, nice flow, I love the word nebular
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This is gorgeous, Mal...not a wasted word. A lovely night for lovers. The first stanza, I love for it own sake but oddly enough reminded me of my mother. She had a favorite dress she always wore for my father...a black silk sheath...thank, hon.
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oh so sweet
mother wearing her favorite dress.....for dad....im sure it struck intense thoughts of love inside him.....glade you could relate to this.....
Mal
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Lovely touch of alliteration throughout this poem. When used correctly, like you did here, it is such a powerful poetic device. Very sensual, very soft and very elegant penning of "poetry in motion". Lovely, concise piece of poetry.
Thank you so much for this entry.
~ Nicolette
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Thanks Nicolette
If my writing has blossomed...it's because of people like you....I like many different genre of poetry...put honestly... yours is awesome...
Mal
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Very sensual piece. Starstruck lovers crossing paths in timelessness.
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I love the
alliteration in the second stanza... I think that it adds to the lovely flow of this piece... amazing imagery... the combination of words is beautiful...
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Beautiful
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Beautiful piece. You leave much to the imagination and nothing at all to it at the same time . I don't know if I would be able to manage the same... Oh, no, wait.... I wouldn't . Another piece worthy of the hall of fame, Mally .
~ Wild
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Very nicely done indeed, very soft and sensual, but with an edge of real sexiness there... I enjoyed it ...Scott
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OH gorgeous one here...and the words just strung along and making the point..exemplory images you brought to my mind...passion felt in this one...well done!
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A very sensual poem
A few words with massive power. I ahve taken the liberty of including it in the list for consideration in the AP poetry book
HUGS
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Think you have written a very sensual poem here - such metaphors you have used - liked the alliteration and the simplicity of the lines. Brevity works well here, more to the moon than just light.
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In continuing motion conceding into love. wGreat lines that flow and imagery non-stop! Good luck in your contest ~Sie
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