Beneath the flames of fortune faded,
lurk shaded chasms ripping depths of pockets jaded:
Where lonesome sends virelay song aground
around her knotted veins of hope dissuaded-
Daring ash pervaded crevices of resolve
cracking open to absolve tongues of fire
licking lengths between heartbeats thumping clean
to unheard themes of terrifying revelations, mortifying dreams:
And the beaky transcripts of past, present,
future screams.
Beneath the flames of fortune faded,
The evading wade through tender touch blockaded,
Where cold eyes crackle like torched up wet wood
Burden relieving, relinquishing hatred preceding-
Exhibitions of revelries descending to memory,
Slumping beneath sodden fortune’s canopy,
Sheltering from the storm to come,
Flooding senses, intensity commences the
shattering race to crumbling pretences
that offences will be lost in the contours of your face,
When in epic finale, hearth and heart will extinguish
and dying embers, still distinguished,
will burn and embrace.
Author notes
Hum. This is a weird one for me. I wasn't planning to enter Virgoan's contest (title and word count requirement are all met) but then a friend sent me something in a style and pace which I really enjoyed. I couldn't possibly try to copy his style but I tried playing with something a little more fast paced. As it stands, this is another writing exercise.
I understand that this isn't an -easy- read so please take the time to read, understand and interpret. The meaning is all there and as with all poetry, there is no 'correct answer.'
This has already gone through some pretty heavy revision and I should imagine that I'll continue to revise. Any input would be appreciated!!
Image is from:
http://www.kaax.org/images/gallery/PDF_May04/delFuego/09_20040529_0097_Embers_S1.jpg
A contest entry
- Title contest #2 ~Embers Embrace~ by Virgoan.
400 points, ended June 15, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Should I cut the first stanza?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
Wow! Another amazing poem from you. It seems all of your poems are great. You are now on my favorites list. I had to use my dictionary to understand this poem. Still though I love it no less. You are an amazing writer.
-
Amazing write! I like the words and the flow of this piece. I can feel the ember aflare in thy readers soul.
My favorite lines:
Daring ash pervaded crevices of resolve
cracking open to absolve tongues of fire
licking lengths between heartbeats thumping clean
to unheard themes of terrifying revelations, mortifying dreams:
And the beaky transcripts of past, present,
future screams.
Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in the contest. Keep writing my friend.
~VIRGOAN~ -
Well done
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem thanks.
-
Interesting
Embers did you say? Beneath the flames of fortune faded?
Now Be Thankful
---------------
"When the stone is grown too cold to kneel
In crystal waters I'll be bound
Cold as stone, weary to the sounds upon the wheel
Now be thankful for good things below
Now be thankful to your maker
For the rose, the red rose blooms for all to know
When the fire is grown too fierce to breathe
In burning embers I'll be bound
Fierce as fire, weary to the sounds upon the wheel
Now be thankful for good things below
Now be thankful to your maker
For the rose, the red rose blooms for all to know"
....Lyrics of forty year old, plus,commune band called Fairport Convention who started as a southern British folk/rock commune for the expansion of musical, and poetic, talent in the 1960's to remove the profit element from an art whilst still generating the shared profit of a famous mega folk -rock band status.This being done in the tradition of original British culture by the band within it's musical style. Many bands evolved from the original concept such as the Albion band ... which may or may not be revived again in the future if enough interest is shown....having ceased to play due to lack of interest in recent modern years!!!
Andrew Siddle
---------------
Indra Sidi/Siddhe
---------------
P.S:- I just thought it was weird that I have been listening to song lyrics about burning embers, and reading books about Sumer Phoenician ( Mesopotamian) stone prehistoric tophet human sacrifice burning sites in the Middle East and North Africa recently, and then you write a poem about burning embers.... Strange that... or maybe not baby pie dragon!?
XXX
-
it would have been very helpful if you put the link to your friend's poem, which inspired this style
-
-
Was sent to me in confidence, so no link, sadly!
-
-
I looked up the word 'virelay' as it is written. It must be a 'typo'...no such word.( Just trying to help)
I reread it very carefully and sense that it is a forecast to the 'end of the age' as we have come to know it."Exhibitions of revelries descending to memory,
Slumping beneath sodden fortune’s canopy,
Sheltering from the storm to come," very 'prophetic'.
Also "the shattering race to crumbling pretences
that offences will be lost in the contours of your face,When in epic finale,"......I am in agreement with it all! What an inheritance for the human race to embrace such a fiery flame.
Very intriguing Write. Good job...deep...compelling; shrouded imagery!
I'll be reading more of your work in the future...if time lingers. -
-
You can find a definition of virelay here:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/virelay
I have to admit, the most familiar spelling of the word is 'virelai' but both work. Chosen as a form to use in this poem purposefully for its neatness, age and lack of use these days.
Thanks for taking the time to read and understand!
-
-
Its true its somewhat hard to read.. Well not that much.. But its a great poem really I sure hope you win or get a very good ranking in the contest.. I adored the fact that its faced paced... In so keep on the good work and keep writing..
~Angel~
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
