She was a beautiful little girl
With blonde hair and bright eyes
Her mind was full of curiousity and enthusiasm
Her heart beat with pure love and understanding
Though prepared for the worst, she was not
When suddenly she became a victum of the world around her
Learning that she could trust with all her might
And experience such harsh pain, so very quickly
From one sickly misguided person
She was a beautiful little girl
Who hated none, and loved all
Yet still tricked and taken advantage of
Every eye was blinded by his gentle mask
For she was a good girl and kept promises
And it was thought at the time that bad things
Never happened to good people
But because of this one person
She was changed forever
She was a beautiful little girl
With blonde hair and bright eyes
Now grown to a gorgeous young woman
Strong is she, who stood through years of terror
Persevered, through the unprotected pain
And saw her life past the heartbreak
My little angel, was hurt
My little angel, was tricked
Yet, my little angel still stands
Strong, and Beautiful
M'lilangel lives
Author notes
** a poem created to tell the story behind my screen name
For those of you who have heard the song "Concrete Angel" by, Martina McBride, well, this poem is a reminder of past life, as is that song. From a misused little girl, to a new teenager still learning and healing slowly. This poem and my screen name is truely about being my own Concrete Angel.
A contest entry
- For Poets With 5 or Less Trophys - Prewrites Only by Starz of Heaven.
525 points, ended September 3, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
-
In the first stanza, line 4 needs to be reworded otherwise it doesn't make sense. There also needs to be a "that" added into line 5 to change it to, "She had never learned that she could trust so much." The second stanza's 6th line should instead read, "But because of one person and misused trust."
The repetition of "She was a beautiful little girl" was nice. However, this poem lacked depth. I didn't feel anything stir in me. Yes, she was tricked, but 1. how does that relate to emotional abuse and 2. what did she feel/what was the experience? I wished it would have been more intense. If you change it, let me know. I'll be happy to reread it
Good luck!
Jen >_< -
This is a lovely piece and I have added it to the book. Thanks so much.
-
This is really a beautiful write.Thank you for your entry and the best of luck to you in the contest.Best Wishes.
-
MlilAngel, This is a sad and yet beautiful piece that you penned to share with all of us. When we are young and innocent we tend to trust more easily, thus we become victims of predators who will take advantage of that situation. You sound like a strong and smart young lady from what I saw on your home page. Let that ink keep flowing and don't give up on all of society. Not everyone is out there to hurt. Bravo for you and kudos on this wonderful write. Love and God bless, Joyce
-
Excellent
Very deep poetry of our children and the need for knowing all about them for danger sometimes is not only out in the public but also sometimes from within the home itself . Watch your children and if there are problems you will see a change from innocents to worry and its a change no parent should ever miss
-
Such a strong storey of never giving up, a lot of realisation and a courage you have shown, thanks for sharing something so personal with us, a really fantastic effort,
Thanks for the entry and good luck in the contest,
-Brenden -
Touching
Nice! It made me feel i guess sad for the little girl. That has happened to me so I can realate keep up the good work!!
-
Simply touching
There must be a sad story behind this piece. But happy to now she 'stands strong, beautiful and lives. Hold her tight, she's your treasure forever. Warmly, Chrissy
-
very good poem
Adding your comment:
1 - 9 of 9
