I
There are a nation of people,
Who try and stand for right.
But the darkness of their world,
Blindly they fight the fight.
They try to make peace,
By promoting war,
They try to make love,
But end up hating more.
They are like toy soldiers,
In a world of hate,
They try to do whats right,
But they all are just so fake.
II
There is a type of culture,
Where right is used with wrong.
Pain is always present,
For light the people long.
They have made life simple,
To travel need not move.
They die so slow and young,
Disease contaminates the food.
They are a strange people,
Ruining all the beauty,
They can build large machines,
But still can't build a family,
III
Life on a darkened planet,
Under a perfect sky,
Where life is never good,
Cause all the people lie.
Sin rules the planet,
Because they allow it,
They all are dieing,
They all are so sick.
They are like toy soldiers,
Thinking they're brave,
But still they blindly live,
Serving as slaves.
Author notes
option#4
A contest entry
- Ready, Set, GO! - Round 1 - "Part Poetry" -Open to everyone! by AureateCorona.
500 points, ended July 27, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Please come and take a look by celestial.
300 points, ended June 12, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My first year on AP by forever dreaming.
450 points, ended June 17, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There are parts of this poem that remind me a lot of the situation here in Northern Irealnd, such as :
There is a type of culture,
Where right is used with wrong.
Pain is always present,
For light the people long.
For so long here people have tried to rule our country with bombs and guns whilst others try to promote peace with non-violent means.
This poem has a very good flow with an excellent, unforced rhyme scheme and I commend you highly for being able to do that. Good luck in my contest.
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I have to DQ you 'cause I don't see a picture.
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Wow!
This was great to read, and I don't recall reading a poem from this perspective. The words flow very well. Thank you for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
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good work. your rhyming didn't seem entirely forced, but a little common. I like the idea behind it though. it is a blindness we toy soldiers wander through... just try not to repeat yourself in order to emphasis a point.
Good work and good luck in the contest!
-AC-
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yes, truly it is a strange blindness in which you have spoken that I have just never thought of before!!! i have to say these words, your thoughts are very provocative and really makes us think!!!!
Your a Finalist!!!!
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