sometimes a butterfly
visits me again -
sigh that has brushed
my heart in another
life
yellow she winks me
a flame; the one
now folded inside
wax of time
and sand
In a list
A contest entry
- completely anything you want! NO RULES WHAT~SO~EVER! by ibsons hysops.
1000 points, ended May 30, 2007, 65 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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Breathtakingly beautiful. Wax of sand and time... so beautiful. Reminds me of so much. Amazing, poetess.
Candy
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I love this piece, feels reflective and reaching to me, that inner yearning we have to stay connected to past, present and future and it comes to all of us in different ways, we just have to recognize it
The best part, is when we understand the message Beautiful penning ~Tia
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Ah,So Sweet
DEar Nicolette;
What A Sweety Poem. You Don't Have To Say Much, But Your Words, And Pictures, 'Speak For Themselves! Loved It.Great Poem.'God Bless You'.Love, Shirley ann shaw-raytown,mo...............
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the filigree-like delicacy of your verse and of memories, so delicately woven together in between your lines rather than in them... aren’t we all visited at one time or another, only to find out that yesterday’s dormant flame allows us to find the burning holocaust of today’s sun. the old – the lesson, the present – the redesigned garden of eden
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Yes.....wise words, my friend.. good to see you around here again, Joe...
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this is just divine... so simple and yet so delicate
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Thanks, Gill...the words only seem to come in brief flutters these days
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gorgeous
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Thank you, Zayra...
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lends a flutter
fire in poetic motion.
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Thank you...seeing your name reminds me...someday I'm going to write my "moksha" poem
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Your poetry is so clean and lean, without one ounce of fat, and seems to have taken a lot of very careful consideration in the placement of your well-chosen words. I realize we have very different styles, but I have the greatest admiration for this terse style of free verse, which has so far managed to elude my rather clumsy grasp. This was a real pleasure to read, and congratulations on winning the bronze trophy- you surely deserved it and more.
All the best,
David Michaels
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Thank you for the kind words, David. Most of my poetry is very concise but like you, I too admire other poets' more lengthier styles. Take care
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beautiful words
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Thank you...
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absolutely beautiful
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Thank you, candicesook...
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You Are Definitely a Finalist!
Good Luck in the Contest!
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here are my claps
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Hi you...so good to see you, Helen - thanks, dear friend
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Missed your beautifully painted words. Lovely piece friend.
I have some serious catching up to do.
~Helen
will have to return with applauds I have zero.
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...and by the way, this is probably the dozenth time I have had a compulsion to come back to read these thoughts of yours!!!
take care!
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LOL, you make me smile... thank you - and for your "compulsion" too!!!
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My words, nor thoughts for that matter can never seem to feel poetry the same way that you do! The minimal structure adds to the strength, as you have said so many worldly volumes and made them speak on more levels than Microsoft has Hidden Code! Google, for that Matter! Awsome just will never fit how I feel about this one! No Word to describe it!
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lovely poem
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Thank you...
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Those memories can stir in us when we least expect it can't they? In time, you will still not forget...but in time maybe you won't need to. Our memories are just pieces of who we are so embrace them and love the little butterfly who keeps reminding you.
~Lyrical
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Of course you understood this little poem so well, Lyrical... thank you for seeing my little butterflies of memories, joy and love
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Everyone else has already said it all...so I'll just leave you the three, happy clappy fellows, and look forward to your next write
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Thank you, Jersene...you're always so kind to me
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Always so elegant and beautiful...and this is no exception...
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it is indeed a lovely piece ... i love the winking flame that a yellow butterfly IS ! ... your way of expression always has me seeing things as if its an AHA ! ... i love that ...
one has to learn to see without knowing so we can see what really is ...
i have read this a few times ... its not my want to comment during contests (or when judges who happen to be my faves are considering a contest i may have entered) so i leave it sometimes ...
okies ... i also love how the brushed sigh becomes the folded flame - a time thing ... i quite like some of perry plummer's suggestion >>> gina -
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Thanks, Gina... I've written this one very quickly and I agree, it still needs some tweaking.
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wish i could write so much in so little so quickly !
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oh nic- i forgot you were our 4th and i completely forgot to bring your name to the top- my sincere apology!
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No problem Mary - I didn't expect to win anything with this little one!!
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Simply amazing, subtle and gentle penning, you do this style so very well, it is a joy to read. Love, C
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this is beautiful
al
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the last to verses yellow flame becomes snuffed candle of wax, sand the wipes out all memory and erases all traces or is it that the wax of time and sand is just the recreations, the cocoon for the next iteration. There is to much energy in this poem to much promise of what is to come. The butterfly or moth is just for a moment but it takes time and energy to arrive at that moment. Yellow of flame folded inside so the seed still breathes and the moment of yellows bright life is not that far away.
Love, Tom B.
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this is just absolutely a wonderful poem.. wonderful
m -
Wow...this is amazing! I love that you have managed to paint such a glorious picture in so few words....I think this is my favourite stanza:
"sigh that has brushed
my heart in another
life"
Incredibly beautiful, I'm so glad I read this.
Love and light,
Jenna
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"yellow she winks me
a flame; the one
folded inside..."
Sighhh...Ahhh, my Sister of the splendid Soul, there are never enough superlatives for your beautiful pennings of the hallowed Heart...What a gentle, sighing echo of a poem, my dear Friend...Good luck in Mary's contest, Sweetie... Vlindertjie
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i am so completely lost in your thoughts! amazing, what you are to my senses!
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such a beautiful poem
a flame stifled in "wax of time and sand" such dualism to me. Wax can mean to advance, even faster maybe, and sand as the movement of time, well, such an intriguing phrase... in a beautiful poem...PK
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you might also think about letting the title be the first line, and going:
TITLE
visits me again... -
excellent
there is a restrained power in this
If this were my poem, I would jank it up by lopping off the tail and going a little something like this at the end:
sigh that has brushed
my heart in another
life
time
yellow she winks me
a flame; the one
folded inside
wax and sand
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Yes, this one needs a little tweaking still - thank you!
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when you're quiet, i know something's up and that you're "busy" with something. stifled inspiration ? ... never, another butterfly of a verse unleashed into the breeze.
nicely done
bb
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Stifled inspiration, etc....many kinds of butterflies - thanks, bb
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