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creature

old fool
preacher of love
offering acceptance
respect
comfort
kindness

old fool
protector of hearts broken
healer of others
bringer of light
teller of truths
creature of many lives
givier of stories and words

society shall murder this fool
society can not tolerate these values
all this weight shall fall and crush down
will the universe miss one old fool

society has judged,
found guilty,
love and kindness the crimes
a fate is sealed loving creature

sentence now executed

Author notes

is this me, visit and find out.
in fairness do not use my name here as it might bias the judge. this is an anonymous contest

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Tattboyspet
    May 28, 2007

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    LOL! Yes, I cannot tell a lie, I definitely see you hiding behind some of those bushes called words
    Although, I wouldn't change a thing You are wonderful the way you are and I wouldn't want you to change a thing my friend!
    Well done!


  • Swan song gold member
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The last five lines put this poem together I see a doer of good deeds punished for it and executed. This happens very good way of expressing this!


  • Folken
    May 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    ya, that's you... ^_^


  • SummerlandRayne gold member
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Being this kind of fool is a great blessing, for what better to be foolish about than the love, kindness and acceptance that is lacking in our current society. I have been called this as well and I glow because of it. I will cintinue on my road of foolishness and I know you shall as well. And if all criminals were criminals of love and kindness we could all rest better at night.
    A brillient and moving write, best of luck!
    Blessed be,
    Azlyn


  • Naridill
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Some truth is spoken in your words but I believe there is still much more to you and you are great and we know that!!


  • Sofia Nadia
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    jajaja

    as if i do not know who this is? well, i shall act as though i don't. and i swear to you that it will not affect your status in the contest in any way. now...this was well written. i liked the metaphor of the guilty "creature" and whatnot, but i felt that it was a little bit...how shall i say it....redundant, possibly repetetive. you have created this image of yourself as being a preacher of love, all about love. but what about your other sides? surely you have a darker side? i suppose that's where the crimes and such come from, but as i assume you are a multi-dimensional person, i would've liked to see MORE of you. or to know more of you, that is. 'givier' should be 'giver' and i think 'bringer' is rather weak. but you did not use pronouns and you followed the prompt, would've just liked to see a bit more (you needed to paint the picture for me) thanks for entering and good luck!!
    ~SofiNadi


  • cheaphotelsign
    May 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wanted to add... i understand the use of the word 'fool', but i would never use it to describe you. you are no fool. you are brilliant.


  • cheaphotelsign
    May 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i would hope the ending would not unfold in this way. i must say, this is a wonderful description of the you i know. these words are flawless. well done. good luck.

1 - 8 of 8