Edged words rumble on over the one to blame
Having my soul left for the unknown slain
An unforgiving lord drowned me into infestation
Will I be stuck in the truth everlasting evasion?
Will I know the vivid yarn of my dawn?
Years offered me no good
I’ve been aged since my childhood
Tears petrified in me my brood
And I’ve never been waged as I should.
His words stroke me akin to arrows
Blended my factual and my shadows
Stole my touch incense he borrowed
And left me without protection from my sorrows.
Back to the daylight hours when I was free
Common cautions prevented my sincere conspiracy
I had the vision of who I wanted to be
Nevertheless he didn’t let the sun shines on me
The bloom of my personality died faster
You were there, watching my doom, pastor
You were acting as if you were my master
Meanwhile I could hear your loud laughter
With my own feet I marched closer to you
I let go my words as I suffered from what you brew
With the sacred steel in my hands and the clue
I took my key and buried it in you.
A contest entry
- Sinners and Holy Men by TheDemonEve.
600 points, ended June 11, 2007, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Darkness Resurrection by Ninth-Poet.
573 points, ended June 24, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Want To Win a Contest? by ArmorXForXSleep.
360 points, ended July 31, 2007, 154 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show Me What You Got!!! by Debbie Hansman.
1100 points, ended July 28, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Silver To Gold- For Trophys That Shine Members Only by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended July 24, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything. by Andii.
600 points, ended September 15, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You Are Invited to Attend by Tercil.
500 points, ended August 11, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Timeless Wisdom.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 261 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This shows me very much how you may be the oldest of the children which like I was the case and from which memories such as these which sometimes has us asking if life could be more kinder. You are strong and by your words, I feel a piece of my past years as well. The morale to this work tells me that inspite of these hardships, it has made you a better person, and that has to be good.
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Oh wow,
This was great! I loved this it was very intersting and It was like a good book that you just CAN'T put down until you know what happends at the end. It was like that anyways
Good luck.
andii -
Such a powerful write...I was caught up in every word!
Great job!
Thank you for entering and Good Luck!
debbie -
God this is really fablous i must say it is a very very good poem I love the ryhme and rythme and the meaning behind your poem is something i do not read much about good job here
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it's great to hear such comments! thks you
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Creatively refreshing!
This is a very inspirational piece of literature which takes an approach that is slightly different from the conventional literature that I read. I felt for the moments of the reading the extraction of my soul from my Life.
-Keep the ink flowing!
-Good luck in the contest!
-Sage of the east -
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thks for a serious and important comment as i call. read more u'll find more
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Wow, dark and sinister. Striking back to the "holy" men and god who have wronged you. Well done!
Best of luck and thanks for entering! -
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i do share your insight, and thks for your comment
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With my own feet I marched closer to you
I let go my words as I suffered from what you brew
With the sacred steel in my hands and the clue
I took my key and buried it in you.
oh man, really without compliments, but this is by far one of the best i read by u, i dont know really why but it touched me so deep.
as usual the flow and the rhyming r mesmerising,
indeed u have a gr8 peice here,
peace.
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and now what, are you expecting me to reply this. i know that wont make the deal, but i'll say am soo glad i read that comment
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i'm very impressed that was so good... you just made a grammar mistake in (neverthless, he didn't let the sun (shine) instead of shines on me)
other than that urrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr perfect
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girl other how amazing your words are, you really sond like a prof. but i really like your comments. mwah
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Years offered me no good
I’ve been aged since my childhood
Tears petrified in me my brood
And I’ve never been waged as I should.
they struck a nerve ur words reached deep into my heart n clutched it hard loved it and u r like wow d lord of rhymin lol h do u do it ya zalameh ?
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what about you my dear poet hey that was a flirt. k let me be calm, halla2 youdroubna jhon
i'm honored and extremely glad to read from you. how wow your comment and how sincere it feels.
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