I am a Las Vegas lie,
oozing insincerity from
every pore.
The 3 am chatter filters
through the vents, the
smell of cigarettes in the air
mingling with laundry detergent.
The clothes hanging on the lines
still smell like you. Nothing
will get rid of that smell.
And your voice, like a siren
enticing me forward.
The water is cold here, and
the blackness crushes around me.
And the stars, the stars
are like the fireflies that
whizzed around your porch,
going on and off and on again.
I would capture them and
string them together to
make a necklace of
living pearls. They would
only fly away again.
And I am still where you left me,
inhaling cigarettes
and laundry detergent,
listening to 3 am chatter.
You have reminded me,
I am a Las Vegas lie,
oozing insincerity from every pore.
The pot and the kettle
are both rusted, and might
as well be hanging over
a witch's fire, for all
the good they are.
That's why I've said,
It just won't work out.
Oh love, we won't work out.
Author notes
As of the day before yesterday I am officially 14, heck yes! *puts on a party hat*
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"I am a Las Vegas lie,
oozing insincerity from
every pore" <--I love those lines. Great start dearie!
Also love "The clothes hanging on the lines
still smell like you. Nothing
will get rid of that smell".
"And the stars, the stars
are like the fireflies that
whizzed around your porch,
going on and off and on again"<--that sooo reminds me of Plath, with how it seems like everything is bad or hurtful, like in the poem "Lesbos".
"The water is cold here, and
the blackness crushes around me"<--I normally HATE when people use the image of crushing blackness, but girl you have made it work here!
And HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY GIRL!!!
I'm 16 now, and we're both a lil older and hopefully wiser. I only like getting older because with every year I grow more as a writer.
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I am a Las Vegas lie,
oozing insincerity from
every pore...I was actually in Las Vegas when I came up with that line...obvious how much Vegas impressed me huh lol. I hope I'm wiser. And if not wiser, maybe I'll have more common sense and learn to check toothpaste tubes before assuming they're toothpaste and make sure NOT to wear blue underwear with a white skirt...go figure...lol. and I don't think I ever told you happy birthday...I meant to, but I don't think I ever did...
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You are only 14...but going on 34, I think! "The pot and the kettle are both rusted" made me think that you were all used up and burnt out on life. Also that you said,"I am still where you left me, inhaling cigarettes and laundry detergent" caused me to see this tired, listless and bored mother.
This work is decietful in revealing your youthful reality. It's down right scarey!
If that's your intention....you rock! -
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thank ya so much for the comment!
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holdme, i gotta tell ya, i loved this write, from start to finish. you did a great job with this, capturing my attention and imagination. the dark and sadness is so well expressed that it makes the reader feel the emotion.
you are a very talented poet to only have just turned 14. bravo!
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thank you so much for the comment!!
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