Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Love



In the iridescence of youth
I talked irresponsibly
Without even a thought
That one day I shall grow old
And see things in a colder light
It was a time
Not of fruition yet but of flowering
Everything was wonderful and fresh
Specially my darling
Who seemed not of this world.
Now I am past that morning
In the merciless blaze of noon
Shorn of the gloss my lies are glaring
Now they put me to shame
And are embarassing.

Yet fools there are
Who are not cool and calculating
Nor are they discreet and discriminating
They find a kind of truth in their lies
To kindle their being
From the fires that burn in their bosoms
They sow flames
Along the furrows of their heart
Ever blossoming
And pity not the one that bleeds
On a stony tract full of thorns
Its glory is not in what it gets
But in what it gives
The dying sun flaming the evening sky
When climbing down its fathomless grave.
--------------

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • PurpleSky
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful poem and dont take this personal but no one seems to have bothered reading the guidelines for this contest im sorry it does not belong here


  • WithinYourEyes
    February 10

    Edit | Reply
    This is good! I love the part that says "Specially my darling" and the overall theme of the poem! Good luck and thanks for entering the contest!


  • Titus gold member
    December 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very brave of you, titling this, Love', for that, it has to be asked to write a piece to be remembered, as there are many titled, Love'. Along the furrows of the mind, the ever blossomoing heart, if not for thorns', needs you to try shortening an otherwise, choral piece,, this in the Shakespeare way, is the prelude to the main theme of things. The mention of fools, dying, thorns, discriminating and calculating, shows a caution to which is hurried by frustration, and another sad story. I think the title should be changed to, "If Love were all I Knew." awwww, this is really hearbreaking, very much like I once had, a lady, to whom no worth I had, could conceive ownership to her heart, due to my lowly status.


  • isabellacohen
    December 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I feel a sense of the tragic

    I feel a sense of the tragic reading your piece. Like an illusion of romance dying?
    to be replaced by "cool and calculating" ?
    if I have misunderstood, please tell me.
    It's a powerful poem with vivid imagery,

    thanks for entering,
    best wishes,
    Isabella


  • XpushXmeXagainX
    September 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.
    It almost makes me feel like I'm on fire myself.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I did ask for the quote to be provided,
    but I will not let that keep me from
    posting comment and considering this
    write as a finalist.
    Each line seems to extend itself to
    the next here which is no easy task,
    especially in free-verse. I like that
    the senses are drawn-in to the read...
    colour, atmosphere, texture all have
    their say here. Your words show the sorrow
    of love, but do not revel in self-pity.
    Thank-you for sharing a marvelous take on
    "~~"Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful
    and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense."
    as that is the quote I can most identify with this.
    Blue


  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This one line in particular really hit home for me

    "They find a kind of truth in their lies"
    ...this is exactly how my boyfriend is and reminds me of him. It's almost as if they lie so much they begin to believe it's true.

    Your imagery, emotion, & depth were all beautifully expressed. I loved it!!! Amazing write..

    Thanks for entering & best of luck

  • perfectsunset gold member
    August 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This one line in particular really hit home for me

    "They find a kind of truth in their lies"
    ...this is exactly how my boyfriend is and reminds me of him. It's almost as if they lie so much they begin to believe it's true.

    Your imagery, emotion, & depth were all beautifully expressed. I loved it!!! Amazing write..

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • Maldronah
    November 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    And, in the quiet evening,
    I put out my tongue and taste
    the first chill snow of winter.

    • karabi
      November 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I have never received such a poetic comment before. Words fail me to thank you for this wonderful comment.


  • freespirit51
    August 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting piece amd a very wonderfully written piece as well. Your message of to give love is better than to recieve it was great. Congrats on the gold you deserved it.

1 - 13 of 13