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Half-life

I awoke to night today,

Heart beating a fluttering stacatto
of falsely convincing life.

Deep was the pit I lay in,
cold the comfort it gave.

For every broken worship,
with bloody wrists was I repaid

I hate the smile in the mirror,
she mocks me from where I crawl

Alone to drown in uncertainty,
surrounded by nothing at all.

I am real,
the flesh and the blood,

But she is sane so I am helpless.
I make my home in the mud.

When I dream I wake to silence,
surreal is the world I make.

At night I stare out the window,
gazing at that which I can't take.

I would envy
but I am too weary.

I would lament
but I am too heavy

Dragged down by the demons
I unleash upon my mind.

And the looming question
is when will I cease to hide?

Author notes

For Kayla.

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Comments


  • Seven Kinky
    May 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wait! I didn't even think about this until I just reread it. It sounds like you're writing from my perspective and I'm speaking about myself as two different people--the sane me...and the shadow seen through the mirror. So many things it could be...I kind of like this interpretation.

  • Seven Kinky
    May 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It kind of rings of fear to me, hun...and frustration. In the beginning, it seems like you're allowing that I'm sane and therefore, you know you can only do so much to help me. But, at the same time, you're frustrated because I'm not letting you help as much as you want. By the end, it seems more like fear of my habits, though, like you hide from the dirtiest of the secrets because you don't quite know how to handle them. I could be reaching pretty far into space with this, but that's what it sounded like to me. At any rate, it was beautifully written and touching despite its darkness. Thank you.


    • Trapped Rage
      May 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Hehe...yeah. Your second comment was right, this was from two of YOUR perspectives. But I'm glad you liked it even with the confusion. Its actually true the other way, too.

      *le sigh* I do fear your habits, though. Its the one thing I wish I could change. But I love you and that is what counts. So...thank you and you're welcome, sister mine.