The blackbird sings of summer from the oak,
A ladybird cavorts upon the rose
And while the sunlight hours so sweetly spoke
I dreamt of meadows where the poppy grows.
I dreamt of tranquil moons and nightingales,
The sun an amber flame against the sky
And as it dulls and sinks the sunlight pales,
The evening closing in, the day drifts by.
The petals fall, soft pinks, confetti thin,
Cool walls of fragrant blooms that fall too soon,
A gentle breeze that brushes on my skin
Reflections pale, a lazy afternoon.
My soul bathed clean, the sunlight blinds the eye
The wild rose must lament and so do I.
Author notes
I am very fond of this sonnet as it reflects what I try to achieve as a poet. It fits the criteria for the contest as it is in the first person singular or in my voice.
A contest entry
- personal favorite by Virgoan.
2000 points, ended June 9, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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awww it's beautiful! though with a rather sad ending.
As always, good job Room..
It's nice to see you entering contest..
Well done, and keep the good work coming,
Nooni
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Aww such a breath of fresh scented air!
Aww such a breath of fresh scented air!
You have penned a fine piece of poetic artistry, so graphically well rish and abundant in well chosen and used desciptives so finely sculpted into a beautiful poetic painting, a poetic masterpiece so lovely fragrant and breezy that you make me feel like I was right there in this very beautiful well painted scene. You bring words to life so well!
Love it, well done bravo, excellent!
Poetic Hugs,
Kaz.
Kazytc xx
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Yes ...
I'm rather fond of this one myself. It's well nigh perfect as far as I can see.
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Your sonnets are amazing. You were suggested as required reading to see how a master of sonnets does it. That recommendation was so correct.
Beautiful
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you express so much aesthetic freedom within the restraints of the form...pardon me but I find you intoxicating!
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Great write. It's beautiful!
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Very sound... beautiful!!!
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A soft opening line here which sets the mood right away for the rest of the poem, summer is a time of light and joy where people take to nature to see the wonder it holds with the warmth of the sun. I like the immediate imagery of the blackbird and ladybird, one small and feathered that hits the high notes and the other tiny, crashing wings of rhythm to accompany the song. To dream is to smile and here you smiled in the scenery given, so much so that it inspired creation, creation begets creation. I like too the shift in tenses used, as memory is like that, one minute we are in the past then we are there reliving the moments and so they become the present once more in mind. Confetti thin make me think of the marriage of nature to serenity in people’s hearts. A good finale, a lament, a soft whisper of breath mourning time’s passing.
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brava!
Wow, another amazing poem, you are now going on my favorites!
Loved the line: "A ladybird cavorts upon the rose". Loved the use of 'cavort' ...great vocab! -
Excellent
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_David_Thoreau
Your poem reminded me of the writings of Henry David Thoreau. And it was very well written indeed. I've provided the above link for those who may not be familiar with his work.
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I like the form. Rhyme flows easily across the tongue and enriches the ear. Nature softness tantalizes the reader to feel the breezes of the afternoon.
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Breathtaking!
Wonderful poem! It was so musical and rich in imagery, it brought some of John Keats' poem to my mind. I really love your write, it's melodious and the words are soothing and bring a lazy sensation of peacefulness to me.
Amazing write, keep it up!
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very well
The melody sounds like a nightingale. I like it very much -
Wonderful, bravo. I love this gentle piece. Very well done.
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i love the beginning, it makes me think of lazy days, feet up in the woods while the river ripples, maybe a smoke in the hand or mouth and eyes closed. i like the past tense of dreamt but perhaps the poem maybe better with present tense? dream so it gives the reader more of a sense of being there with you the rest of the poem can be taken in whatever tense i think just 4 and 5 happy new my friend
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Oh, this is just beautiful. You really took me there. Great job, good rhyme.
Chelsea
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correction
The wild rose must lament comparing charm -
O Eglantine, O Eglantine ...
The wild rose must lement comparing charm
enthorned with one whose talents thornless fill man's dream,
while nightingale and petals pink disarm
before soul clean who'll ever stay our theme ...
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a lovely sonnet
builds and is best at the end -- very lovely -- excellent
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Promise...sing
Just one suggestion for the last line, Beth, - "a rose by any other name"
The eglantine laments and so do I
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I LOVE IT!!!!!!
I'm aguht for words....which is really not like me.
I'm adding this to my 'favorites"!!
WoW!
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and some clappies from the blackbird ...
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this poem is pure magic, and imagine what just happened : a blackbird sat down outside on a branch of the lime-tree and started to sing wholeheartedly just while I read your sonnet ...
I felt like the whole scenario from your poem not only became alife in my mind, but also manifested in the material world around me ... plus, it is late afternoon right now, which fits the scenario perfectly ...
maa -
Perfect!
What a nice poetic painting my dear friend. It's obvious that you are breathing nature. As a master of sonnets you are always able to connect two, the most important things - technique and great poetic expression.
I simply had to choose following lines:
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The petals fall, soft pinks, confetti thin,
Cool walls of fragrant blooms that fall too soon,
A gentle breeze that brushes on my skin
Reflections pale, a lazy afternoon.
~
~Sonja~
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SO PEACEFUL AND BEAUTIFUL!
Oh, how I used to watch the days pass by when I was young! I would play in our woods all day and then before going in for the night would sit down in the grass and watch the stars twinkle, the moon rise and listen to the many wonderful night sounds around me. Sorry for the rambling comment
this just relaxed me so much and took back to those happy days.
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