Last night I held my pillow
Wishing you were beside me
Because all I could feel was the silence
And the emptiness of my soul.
My pillow gazes upon me at night
As I do not lie down asleep in your hair.
With another night under a blanket of stars
I am alone in bed.
Listening to the night whispers
While kissing you in my mind.
A life without you is sadness
As I cry for you with silent tears.
My heart yearns for your presence
So I can have a dance of love with you
And I searched for you in every direction,
Calling out your name.
Where are you my love?
These tears will fall forever
Until we are together again.
Author notes
Goodknightpoet
A contest entry
- Break my heart. by black-angelwings-.
300 points, ended November 4, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Dedications by Blooming Poet.
440 points, ended January 3, 2008, 53 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Are You Lonesome Tonight by storiesuntold.
300 points, ended January 21, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Such a beautiful love you write about here, and the great desire to be together again is lovely....... very good a Gold and A Bronze! Nice
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such beautiful words of love and need...yet leaves the heart with a since of loneliness...congrats on the trophy's well worth it
thank you for creating
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I have to be honest and say I was a little confused whether she was gone for good or just for a day or two these are beautifully words though and they flow together perfectly
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Love has such power over us.
This is so beautifully sad!
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Awesome Jeff...I miss my partner too...mary
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How beautiful. This is really a touching piece of work. Well done.
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Good write here
I think heart aches from loved ones lost has a certain amount of time needed for the soul to release the old and let new life and love come in . For the love between the two of you his was only half of the equasion and your half is still alive so pick yourself up and move to the next stage where love will be worthy of the love you have to give
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You touched my heart with this one, it brought tears to my eyes. I am going through something like this right now.
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So sad..so sweet,so beautiful. and so true, i am in love with someone for a while now and i cant sleep without talking to him on the phone before my sleep.. and every night when i have restless sleep and wake up, he is the first thing on my mind.. always., thank you for this beautiful write. -elena
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Thank you. We have a lot in common.
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Good morning Jeff, You have penned a lovely poem here . So beautiful and heartfelt are your words. They convey such longing and I can relate to them. I know the feeling quite well. You take care my friend. Sandy
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BEAUTIFULLY SAD
Pulls the tears and leaves the soul to bleed
If only to have her one more time
to relieve the ache within
please pass the tissues
for tears are flowing
over here...
Congrats!
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it was good
I liked it very much. It was deffinatly one worth reading in my opinion
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Would you mind adding your username in the author notes, it is well appreciated.
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Awww, spoken straight from the heart...so full of love and emotion. Well done!
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i know exactly how you feel with this one... i still roll over every morning reaching out for my husband and waking with a shock wondering where he is until it hits me all over again... alone in his cell... probably doing the same thing... only i hope hes doing it with his butt to the wall lol. really beautiful.
huge hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
Wow, that was emotional, heartfelt and just beautiful. The pain came thru so well...stabbed the heart thats for sure, and was written wonderfully.
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I know all too well what it's like to miss someone this much; I, too, am missing my baby more than words can convey
A fine sharing into this contest; good luck to you! -
This is a very romanttic and sweet poem. If you weren't aware this contest is about finding a perfect poem,. about missing my BF, this is very much what I am looking for. Thank you. this is so close to how I am feeling, missing him every night. You are a finalist.
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I personally loved it.
I certainly don't have the practical experience yet with writing poetry, so I can see where bellemichelle is coming from. It's tough to use metaphors with grieving poems, I think. It's something of a struggle for me, personally. I've got so much to learn about poetry, but that's the beauty of it, really. Sometimes, you will want to be subtle in your writing, but other times, you may want to be more direct. Your approach is less subtle, but it's still beautifully done, but that's just my opinion. Everyone grieves differently, so the writing should differ, too, depending on the personality of the recipient. It's about being able to branch out creatively in different directions.
I'm too inexperienced to really give it a good critique. What makes me feel so good about writing and sharing bereavement poetry is when they tell me that it brought joyful tears to their eyes in their time of deep sorrow. That's what I strive for, and my approach tends to be more subtle, metaphorically speaking.
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Thank you. I'm of the opinion that poetry is connecting with your feelings and communicating that to other people, using words. I prefer free style because one can say more.
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This was very good.. I can feel the sadness and pain.
I know you are just writing and not really in this situation but the emotions were so real. Great job.
Soulful Woman
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Thank you. Although I'm not currently in this situation; I wrote it as if I were to miss my lady.
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wow
beautifully crafted words slip from every line ,the pattern of lines draws your eyes in and holds them there until you finish every last sad word .it flows so well and it is very easy for me to relate to this write about the emptiness of ones soul and the void in your heart that you fear nothing will fill that place agian .amazing
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Thank you very much. This was my first poem writing about loneliness.
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beautiful
What a beautiful piece. Its so emotional. I really enjoyed this piece as its something I can relate to. Well done! -
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Thank you.
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"My heart yearns for your presence
So I can have a dance of love with you"
I enjoyed this read, it was smooth and Your emotions are within the lines. No one enjoys being alone! Nice job, keep up the good work
my pleasure to read this evening ~tia
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I'm glad you liked it.
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ummm, okay.
well,
i'm glad you have found a way to express your emotions, but if it is poetry you were trying to write (and not just an emotion release), I am going to have to tell you that you could use a bit of work. While it is a noble emotion of yearning you were trying to express, it was far to serface0level and revealing. You should try to develop a metaphor for your lost loved one so that you're not telling your reader but yet you are still telling them if you see what i mean. ahhh, evs, why do i try..... -
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I take it you did not read what e.e. cummings said that's on my page. The bottom line is I've been writing poetry for 52 years. I've read some of your poems and was not impressed. Based on the comments on my poems, people like it and can relate. There are a lot of poems on AP that I don't understand or relate to, but that's their style and some people think it's terrific. Thank you for your comments, anyway.
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Calling out your name.
Where are you my love?
These tears will fall forever
Until we are together again.
this is something i think every night. i have loved one so long it is beginning to petrify in my heart. thank you for sharing this with me. viyanna rosemarie
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Loved this... It touched me. I understand this pain. I too weep for a loved one I miss. The hur sometimes is unbearable.
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Bloody fantastic!
I loved it! Your a good poet!!! Yeah...... Great Um keep up the good work! Love is like magic you never what'll happen next! How now brown cow? Love from mahli
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it.
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wow this was amazing. I could really feel the loneliness and desperation for love in the well chosen imagery you penned here. Excellent work!
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Loneliness is an emotion telling us we need other people. I'm happy you enjoyed the poem.
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Beautiful
Very well written, this has made me think. I feel like this quite often actually, seeing that my love is also not close and we dont see each other often. Anyway... a very heart felt poem. Thanx
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Tears Flowing
Ahhhh..Until I see my beloved again.The emptiness felt in the heart longing for our true love.I loe the emotion and the imagery.Very nice. -
Pillow Lovers lol
I remember being asked by a survey once... "Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?" In a sense now... I almost would put "yes" because when you're not with the person you know you THRIVE to be with, the pain and agony of irritating patience is a virtue scarcely given out amongst everyone lol I loved it, I’ve done that before a couple of times
A very good piece!
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fery good
what no
"dreaming of you beside me
waking up hugging the pillow
another night so lonely
i sing the song of a weepin' willow"
lol
seriously, intense,
the silence, serenity of the night
broken by a long love
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I think this is a touching, heartfelt poem. I'm glad I decided to read it. It's so sad! I still like it, though.
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Jeff, my friend~
This is laced with a sadness that makes the sadness and pain I feel seem insignificant. Well written, my friend.
~Z
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Thank you Zach. I decided to try something different because I'm not into sadness or negative. But I have felt this way before.
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Great Poem
Sad. It really expresses the emotions of loss and sadness and loneliness. Very well done.
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