Once upon a time my mind was new and unfamiliar, challenging itself to notice more, roaming to bizarre territories, enchanted by new surroundings, perceiving the world as best it could, learning more about itself, as it discovered more about others.
Time ground to a halt as I passed her for the first time, I was mesmerized by her rhythm, her noise, outlandish to my ears, even so I could not drag myself away, this alluring chant of hers has always stimulated something deep within human skin.
She appeared to me as an indescribable being of verve and peace and hilarity. Compared to which all else in the world was unacceptably hidious. She was vast, but devoid of dimension… Alone, the only one of her variety. Though nevertheless, contained within herself I saw the memoirs of an era of many like her, of a globe of serenity, forgiveness and love. However, I came to see her limits as well. She was potent, but beyond doubt she is not omnipotent...
...Everyday it’s raining below and She is all alone atop her pedestal, peering down.
From high atop, she gazes down in contempt upon the masses and pretends to relate.
Her pedestal is nothing but a house of cards, which only remains standing as its enveloped within an elaborately constructed sonata of propagandist slogans… Dreading the slightest breeze… But a house of cards… Ready to fall… Evaluating herself to all but the wind, as compared to the wind she’s powerless.
She grasps my hands, her eyes tell me she’s offering an escape... just so long as I adopt the face of a child who only smiles because she’s told me too.
“Welcome to this world,” she said, “I’ve been waiting for quite some time. You come to me with a free will and a strong mind?’ She laughed, “That’s all fine... Since your days began, you’ve allowed your mind to expand, accepting no lend of a hand. However, I’d much rather have you come with me and present me with support, giving aid and assistance, we could go the distance…”
What she failed to perceive was that my irregularly rational forte is far-flung outside the mental capacity of her usual victim’s own intrinsic, conventional understandings.
Her unparalleled perception… all just a mess of allegorical concepts.
Her supreme mentality… all a deception.
“You aren’t what you claim you are,” I said, “You are but a shell. Devoid of emotion, trapped in a cell, a power-hungry hypocrite, a fraud and ignorant too.”
Enraged at my uncouth dissention she cast me tumbling off her pedestal, through the air I fell, battered by her deadly downpour, that of which brews the fog and mists of illusion that so shields her true form from lazy, ignorant human perception, towards which I once again plummeted.
But, unlike her, I am patient while the wind blows; respecting it’s power, so superior to my own frail but stubborn form. Unlike she, who ignores all forces more powerful than herself. The wind picked me up, sending me into an uncontrollable spin, slamming me with potentially lethal force into her pedestal of cards. Clinging to the rough paper of one immense card I expressed appreciation towards the wind for its assistance, and I began to trudge forth, hauling my battered form up her awful tower…
… As I ascended the awful tower, I was sure I was mistaken, but I thought I heard her scream… “I can’t take anymore, I’m so fucking sick of this solitude! I’m collapsing down upon this floor, I just can’t take anymore! This power’s killed my soul… will my pain last forever more!? I’m falling down on this floor, I’m so fucking sick of this solitude…”
And still I dragged my torn and tattered form higher and higher. Unchained from her foul shrouds of human ignorance, and moving in for the kill.
The wind whispered encouragement into my ears “Getting closer, almost there, you can make it, if you dare.”
I hauled myself over the edge and onto her lonely pedestal, on top of which I saw her in her true form: she lay in anguish upon her opulent bed, miserable and in despair, with nothing but demented thoughts in her head, bathed within eternal sunshine.
I waved my arm down towards the rolling fogs of deception that enveloped the miserable lands below, lands so tainted and reeking with her ignorance and lies they could be mistaken for thousands of miles of baby-ass, “Tell me, can you hear the sounds, of all those people falling down, destined to rot beneath the ground, just so you can smile again?”
She lay in silence.
“You claim you are so beautiful, so kind and so benevolent. You are hideous. You are cruel. And you are a selfish little ignorant bitch. And you are a liar… Sincerely, I cannot endure the earth if we are each existing in it, and so I’ve come to “kindly” shoot your fucking face in.”
Time is nothing except a vague equation. Perpetuity will forever continue even after all memories of our existence grow frail. So the terror is primordial when does surface the final hour, and so I had drug my feet and lingered until that final moment. Now she had better prepare to be conquered, for an unbounded amount of centuries, even as I exchange blows with the uncertainties I’ve felt for all these years… Yet, I could just as easily perish in my own determination of breaking free, from her ancient restraints.
“Your end ain’t near, your end… is here.”
The gun shot, and she stumbled and she fell from atop her pedestal down, down, down… ignoring the superior forces of the wind, she plummeted through the already clearing fogs, to her miserable kingdom.
She was gone, I stood alone atop the pedestal, my mind suddenly drowning in rose thorns, stabbing, puncturing, lacerating, pain like a thousand daggers stabbing my brain. I screamed as the beautiful, deceptive words of her chants and propaganda, which I could no longer even seem to remember soared their final circles around my head. Hostile satellites of deception in an unstable orbit, colliding through my mind in their volatile death throes.
And then my mind was drained of all ignorance, emptied of all deceptive illusions. My soul, all truths, became clear.
My body torn and tattered, bent and broken, my mind and soul rejuvenated and refreshed, I dragged myself back to the pedestal’s edge and forced my tired form over the side, just before the tower’s foundation of cards began to collapse and fall. The wind caught me, and as it carried me down towards the lands of seething humanity, the wind still whispered to me: “Getting closer, almost there, you can make it, if you dare.”
My task was not yet complete.
My feet back on the ground, my eyes gazing through the thinning foggy mists, I followed her soft stumbling footsteps over the dirt softened by her tears until I saw the seething mass of humanity, pitchforks in hand, they had her backed into a corner, she was filthy and broken, naked and maimed, as the universe finally went to war against her, on truth’s behalf.
The Human’s screamed:
“All we could hear was you in our heads!
One more word and we swear if we had a gun you’d be dead!
You see,
We can’t just deal,
Can’t just let all your hate conceal,
Inside of us, surrounding us, hounding us,
Can’t just complain anymore without doing something about it,
Shit! Lets wring your neck and then slit!”
She couldn’t believe all this; believe that they now saw through her shit. Could not believe that she had missed.
I stepped in, “There are healthier ways to reconcile this divergence,
Killing this despicable, deceptive being won’t do naught but release her hate, her lies and her evil into the airs we each breath into our bodies. It will do naught but to further proliferate her hate.”
It didn’t matter though, for you see, she was already gone.
Already past the break point, and wouldn’t last long,
The seething mass of humanity was slowly slipping past her miserable fantasy,
Into one immense, beautiful, true reality
Finally we’d be able to think entirely within our own state of mind.
Leaving all her corrupted bullshit left behind…
…And we each then appeared to one another as indescribable beings of verve and peace and hilarity. Vast, but devoid of dimension… Each unique, yet connected in unity through our varieties. And, contained within ourselves we perceived a universe of serenity, love, and truth.
“…When no one hears me, when I cry, hopeless and broken, cold outside, solitary, and confined, just me, myself and I… Alone, alone, alone, I will survive...”
Author notes
"God's not a woman. He's a bitch."
Make As You Do.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Hee hee
I love this one, always have, I read this one a long time ago and just finished reading it again. And of course i love it, as i do all your poems! You are very uniqur and skillful, as I have always thought. I love you baby. xoxox -
Your skill is quite evident in this writ. YOU stand out to me with each paragraph. A work of prose that all should admire.
I believe in God. But it appears that many are unlike me in that belief structure. I know that not all will believe, and that is acceptable. I think everyone should receive the same respect no matter their constitution regarding God or the lack thereof.
I understand the poem to speak of "killing a god" not what some beleieve is the Creator. You said in your comment that "he is a bitch"... I chuckled when I read that, and can understand how you might view Him in this vain. I am not insulted or offended by that comment. I suspect that God himself has a great sense of humor or He would not have breathed life into humanity.
Your work is brilliant. I like looking from a literary standpoint at poetry, thus giving the writer an edge to write about any subject that suits his/her fancy.
You did exceedingly well here poet. Please don't allow the Christian "right wing" to speak for all of us. We are not *all* the same.
Bravo!
Candice
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And we each then appeared to one another as indescribable beings of verve and peace and hilarity. Vast, but devoid of dimension… Each unique, yet connected in unity through our varieties. And, contained within ourselves we perceived a universe of serenity, love, and truth.
A thought provoking piece and making us to ponder about the depth of the issue raised here..well done and the image is quite powerful..still we all are diffrent and the experience of is also different..but this is indeed a poem to make ponder my friend..thanks for sharing well done..
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I dont like your title its very disrespectful and it really did make me sick.
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So sorry if anything offended you so *rolls eyes*. It's more than perfectly fine if you don't approve of the title, or of the content of the poem itself, but I think your perception of "Disrespect" is a bit off. Nothing in the above "Disrespects" anything, it is simply describing a view, clearly different than your own. What is truly "Disrespect" is that you cannot seem to withstand another being thinking differently than yourself, or the existance of material that promotes differing ideas. Please, if in the future you come across anything else that you disagree with, please contact me in an unrude and unabrasive manner and perhaps we can have a civil discussion.
-Sincerely,
-Falecurst
P.s.- I only use the phrase "So sorry" as a turn of phrase, I am in no way sorry.
Pss- My fiance says to "shove it up your ass there is no god" To which I agree, you should shove it up your ass, I believe there is no god, yet unlike you, I am fine with the fact that you feel differently.
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I think your a very rude and ignorant person people like you have just no respect for others and what they think.i think you should both shove it up one anothers arses since you both love to do so,so it seems.im not botherd if your sorry or not,i think you should go shoot your self and drop dead the pair you,shame on you both for saying such things i hope you both get a life you sad people.
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The title says "I killed 'A' God" Not God Himself for your information.
From Falecurt's Fiance Nicole to you....you bastard,
Okay, You believe in god...but yet you tell us to die?? how does this work...You just sinned. And actually, were both very happy people, No sadness here. Annnd also, for your information, We showed as much respect 'AS POSSABLE', It is you who are doing the exact same thing to us, and you started it, and you are digrating yourself as a believer in god my dear miss. Does not god love all people weather they are believers or not?? I mean seriously, You disgrace all the people who do believe in god. Me and my fiance falecurst respect other peoples beliefs to the fullest, if they believe in god, JOY to them, if they believe in anything else, JOY to them, just because we don't particularly believe in god, does not mean that you need to trash on it and be so judgmental. The only reason we do not show respect to you as of now, is because you had to be stupid and ignorant and idiotic about the whole thing. We do not care if you believe in god, we care that you judged us as you did. Me and my fiance, have tons of friends who believe in god, we get along with them so much because they do not push there beliefs on us, and we don't push are beliefs on them. You need to feel ashamed, and hopefully, I hope you change your outlook on the world, tis a beautiful world with beautiful people and things to be wasted on judging all of it. Good day. -
I am glad you are not bothered. It raises my respect for you a tick.
Clearly you did not adequetly realize the meaning of either the poem (if read), or my response. I am fine with the fact that you believe differently than me, as I have said. I would never claim a work promoting god or any other idea I disagree with to be "disrespectful or sickening" based only on that it differs from my beliefs. Why not simply express disagreement, perhaps backed by civil arguments of your personal logic.
-Ever Sincerely,
-Falecurst
p.s.- The only instance in which I came close to "disrespecting" you was when I agreed with my fiance that you "shove it up your ass" A phrase I personally wouldn;t use, but seems apt. Learn the true meaning of respect before blathering on about being disrespected.
(Respect- An Example: Ind. #1 believes in god, Ind. #2 does not and states that he does not in #1's presence, and, instead of #1 getting in #2's face with terms such as "sickening!" and "disrespect!", #1 calmly states that he does believe in god and offers #2 a few reasons why, they get into a friendly, non-missionary discussion/ argument of their differing beliefs and part as civilly as they joined, each now with a few new ideas to think about.)
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This was a interesting piece. You portrayed your thoughts very well. I like the title.
Keep up the good work. -
Stunning piece of writing.....
That stanza I copied and printed out, and put it up
above my monitor, I will survive:And we each then appeared to one another as indescribable beings of verve and peace and hilarity. Vast, but devoid of dimension… Each unique, yet connected in unity through our varieties. And, contained within ourselves we perceived a universe of serenity, love, and truth.
Strong poet warrior-King of beasts..Queen of Light..
hear me tonight,
upon the face of Ominious grace,
sits a smile,
a pride,
that is you, and we cannot deny strength we see & hear in your writes.
Another was sent turning the centuries from BC to AC who overturned the temple
with fierce passion, calling them vipers....exposing them for the snakes they were,
treating his children like dirt...
I humbly say today,
you make me proud to be a "human" this day!
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Spectacular
This is truly a wonderfull essay style poem. I loved it, the way it expresses lack of guidance from god in our lives and hate at the thought we're not in control of our own choices and lives....great! I also like the concept that god also feels lonely, that god is humane. I also like that you've put hope in the end of your poem, I think that's important. I do hope you're not bitter with god though.
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Absolutely stunning. 0_0 I wish I had something to offer you, but I can't think of anything to suggest. It's extremely symbolic. I love how powerfully it conveys everything.
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Why thanks. Personally, I'm not sure if this is the final draft or not as of yet.
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