I want to be happy
I set forth to seek out hope
I feel lost in darkness
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i like how this is worded. shorter poems are very difficult to write but it proves, to me anyway that you need to have courage.!
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Very Nice
I really loved how well this poem is penned and although it is not a Haiku I just really like how you worded yourself and really finished yourself as well through out this poem. The poet below who is an expert at Haiku's summe dit up best with her best friends example of a poem. Either way I still enjoyed reading this and a wicked color scheme that I like
Keep up the good work and don't be discouraged that this is not a haiku but a very nice poetic style free write
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I want to be happy
I set forth to seek out hope
I feel lost in darkness
Oh dear! I'm so very sorry if you feel this way. I wish I could be of some help, really. We all want to be happy in this world and one way I think is to be happy with what we are blessed with...whether it be joy or pain. I know its easier said than done. But, at the end of a painful winter, there is a bright spring full of flowers and fruits
Anyways, coming to haiku...this isn't a haiku. It is a short poem, really. Haiku have several strict rules that one must strictly adhere to when writing this form of poetry. One of the rules is that there is supposed to be no title to a haiku. L1 is used as the title line. Here, there is a title...Secondly, a haiku basically does not use words like 'me', 'my', or 'I'. Haiku is basically a moment observed by the haijin,i.e., the haiku poet, in nature and that one moment is penned on paper as a solid image juxtaposed with another image(again a solid image)observed at that same moment by the poet.
Example: This is a haiku written by one of my favourite AP poetess - Tina(Ava Noire)
dangling
from the spider's web -
the moon
Here, the poet has seen the web of a spider and instantly noticed there was the full moon dangling from it. Isn't it a beautiful image? It is these 2 moments that the poet saw...first the web and next the moon...but he saw them so fast...and one juxtaposed over the other...the moon seemed to be dangling on the spider's web!
Haiku is not written about how one feels/thinks..here you have written just that. It is to be written about what was observed by the poet..that very Zen moment is captured. These are 3 complete sentences what you have here that are reflecting the way you feel.
If you would like to learn more on haiku, do consider joining my class. I'll help you learn this form as best as I can.
Best wishes,
Charishma
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