If only you were here,
Handing me another beer
Like you did all those years ago
When our love was as white as snow.
You would whisper in my ear
The words I long to hear,
As I feel your hand in mine
I know that it's a sign.
Your face; like a mirror shows
How our love was like a deep red rose
You were naked beneath your clothes
A thing my heart already knows.
Your love was like a dart
That penetrated deep into my heart
I loved lying with you on my bed
Because your heartbeat filled my head.
If only you were in my arms
And I could feel the way your love calms
Me, and soothes me, and enters me
To let me know that together we will always be.
With you in my arms I am free,
But now I finally see
Why you left me for a whore
Because you're worth nothing more.
Author notes
I love writing bad poerty. It's so much more liberating. Ha ha.
A contest entry
- Bad Poetry by Bapudi.
400 points, ended June 20, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I really like the idea of it. Some of the rhyming seems a bit forced, but all in all it's ot too shabby. I do have one little thing though, everything rhymes in the whole poem except:
If only you were in my arms
And I could feel the way your love calms
I wasn't sure if yoiu knew that, but you seem to know it's not very good from your coments. Still, I liked the idea of it, I hate the experiance... -paint -
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Thanks for your comment. The idea of the contest was to write bad poetry... so I guess I was successful. The 'arms' and 'calms' rhyme... when I say it it rhymes... put I have a stupidly british accent... I'll see if I can think of some other rhyme... maybe something with 'palms'? Meh, well, thanks again for your comment. much appreciated xox
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good entry
Verse 1 has terribly cheesy forced rhyme, I quite liked verse 2 and verse 3 turns a full circle yet I can relate to this! good luck in the contest -
okay, yeah. im not going to grace this one with a productive comment. lol. love youuuuuu xxxx
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great! It's awful!
Really awful. I think you could have wedged a few more cliched images in there, but definately a finalist.
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Cheers
I just added several new verses... so read them, but be warned: They are VERY cringworthy.
xox
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