They ignoredher frightful face
as they banged the nails in.
setting up the framework
for the new wal going up.
The door was bricked up
years ago
now the archway is closing in
the only light coming in is
from the window in the room.
no one will let her leave
she can't escape from the window
the room is four stories high
not even a drainpipe for her to climb.
how long can she last
no food
no water
denied her existence
What did she do?
Does she deserve this?
An execution
far from humane
She didn't break any laws.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow. This is a really strange poem that you have here.
Not like it's bad or anything but I felt kind of confused because I don't know why she was there or what happens afterward. I can't remember if you have this marked for critical or not but I thought that I would tell you that in the first stanza you need a space between ignored and her. And you need another l in the word wall.
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in line one there is a typo, you need a space between ignored and her. In line 4 typo "wal" other than that, I think it is a very vivid piece that is a little haunting.
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I felt trapped just reading it. More people then we probably know live tat kind of existence.
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Wow
Very intense. Creepy story. I can see this as the prelude to a horror movie or a haunting. Well done.
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