I have not bathed,
I have not said my prayers
my grief is like a pile of days
the stones in pharaoh's tomb.
a hundred men have come and gone
they left their scent upon my stones,
the stones around my hollow home,
their fear within my bones.
In the valley’s morning mist
I heard his mellow voice,
and saw his slender form
my grief is like a pile of days,
the stones in pharaoh’s tomb.
a hundred men have shared my side.
a hundred more have tried
they left their coin inside my door
and labeled me a whore
they’ve left their scent upon my stones,
the stones around my hollow home,
their fear within my bones.
my grief is like a pile of days,
the stones in pharaoh’s tomb.
Author notes
Written August 1st, 2003
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very good thanks for entering my contest -lil ship
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Wow, this was really good. It was such a good description of how Mary Magdalene was probably viewed in her time. I enjoyed the repeating lines: "my grief is like a pile of days, / the stones in pharaoh’s tomb." It was a very powerful simile/metaphor that fit Mary Magdalene so well.
One suggestion I have would be to add some more of her emotion into the poem. It was mostly a description of her and her life, which is fine, but I personally felt it was a little dry without her feelings included. I mean, "a hundred men have shared my side.
a hundred more have tried
they left their coin inside my door
and labeled me a bunny" doesn't she have something to say about that?
But then again, your poem almost expresses that she is just so weary and sick of it all that she could care less about her feelings. The first few lines seem to imply that, maybe if you had continued that a little more later the reader would have had more of a sense of her weariness.
Overall, I really enjoyed it and found it a very accurate descrpition.
Great job,
Laura -
Ya know it's funny. I just took a stupid Quizzila Test "Which Bad Girl of the Bible are you?" (Like they were all Bad and everything was always their fault the guys had nothing to do with it) anyway. I came up Mary Magdalene.
Reading this again in this context makes it feel weary and sad. I think she was probably very curious and likeable. Perhaps a woman ahead of her time.
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moving right along. lyrics. did i ever tell you music saved my mortal soul? yes, its true. so it's wonderful to me that my first lute lyrics is titled this. i wrote a a poem about Veronica Franco today. i've loved her, felt a kindred spirit actually, since my 8th grade teacher, mr.flynn, introduced her to me. mary, well, she hung with the boys too...looking for that one dude to make it right..like V. ..particularly enjoy the use of pharaoh..cool..what type of music? instrument?
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interesting
i enjoyed the repetition and the sadness there it does seem to capture some of her
but its not as impacting as some of the others you have
anyways, thanx for showin me i think its wonderfuly mournful -
you have taken the myth of mary magdalene and universalize
d her. made her a true madonna even for the non-believer (like me) -
Wow what a visual poem and a beautiful one. You have described a day in the life of Mary, very well.
Lakota x -
Awesome
This is a truly awesome poem. I think it's brilliant. Very impressive. -
Not much to say!Great job,I'm impressed!!
Keep up the great work
MeL
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she must have been beautiful
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Beautiful sounds so hollow but that is the word I want to use. This is truly beautiful and contains some wonderful metaphors. Excellent work. Irene
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SO MANY
so many mary magdalene's;
so many men with fears
so many hollow homes and hymnes
so many tearless tears
so many coins dropped without care
so many hungry feasts
so many eyes with sightless stare
so many holy beasts
so many dreams that turned to dust
so many dying births
so many angels slain for lust
so many bloodied mirths
so many times His voice ignored
so many mornings dawned
so many blows to block His Word
so many souls thus pawned
myra
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Interesting... hell, fascinating.
Needless to say, good write.
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hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...makes a body ponder. I loved the repetition.
This all came together very well. ~~~ Val -
interesting title. it made me click on the poem! i liked this alot...not for subject, because i do not belive in jesus christ, or the christian/catholic religion. but i liked it for its structure, and its uniqueness. i loved how you repeated lines, it added alot to the poem. very interesting! i loved it!
*~!)o(Azul Corte Katze)o(!~*
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