In the beginning there was the letter A
a lucid introduction to building dreams,
yet all was incomplete,
like walking a mile of revelations,
the universe was updated, then
stamped with the wikipedia logo.
Immensurable knowledge as if written
in a rain of coded streams;
we became.
Now trapped in the hype
of clever haikus and eloquence,
we subject ourselves to haughtiness and
parade around in isolated community portals.
We read the current events for breakfast, then
featured articles for lunch, like
learning to breathe and forgetting to live
we hope after fairy tales then ignore reality,
until we trip off the edge of sanity,
drunk on fiction and tonic.
For then our dreams dissolve like melted wax.
Comparable to a labyrinth in our mind, is
our intelligence puzzled by a ten-dollar toy.
With choleric emotions we tend to castigate
the wall, the furniture, and the mirror as well.
Perhaps that’s our Achilles' heel;
to inhale poison under the illusion of grandeur,
our Pandora box shaded in six colors.
Yet this may be all we will ever have,
rubik dreams and a comic book fantasy,
as we imagine nights just like this, our
endless waltz under moonlit beams or
enchanted tangos amongst the pyramids.
Until eyes open to our diluted and divine reality,
as pain and tragedies becomes our trump card
to hide, evade, and ignore responsibility
while reaching for cold pizza under the seat,
satisfaction to our complacent selves.
It is words shouted into the wind,
that gust upon the sands and seeps
past the grains like spilt water,
these wicked tongues drain, deeper still
like the words of a father, disapproving
or the condescending remarks of a teacher.
But who's to say that oblivion must come
or that our paradise must be crucified?
Like Cerberus guards the condemned,
so must we safeguard those starry nights
under the fireflies' lights,
for imagination is sung by the Muses
and Pegasus rides the felt-tip pen.
In a list
A contest entry
- A Quickie by Hadji Murad.
600 points, ended May 25, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Why we do what we do?! by Mezclita.
700 points, ended January 4, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - infinite spaces between atoms by whiterabbit..
500 points, ended April 15, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Best of the Best by Desdmona.
1400 points, ended April 1, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagine a world by AllWeAreIsBullets.
1000 points, ended June 9, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please applaud if you think it worthy.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Love it. This is the world we live in. One day our imagination will be more reality to us than life itself.
Good luck
-Bullets -
The intertextuality in here is wonderful as well as your diction. You have some vocabulary and some imagination. I enjoyed this throughly. The structure would be my only critic. The lines are a bit too long for my taste. But overall good job and good luck! ~Des
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I really enjoyed this. It's such an original piece that has a lot of knowledge in it. I love writes that make one think. Thanks for entering.
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"like,
learning to breathe and forgetting to live" - wow
"Perhaps that’s our Achilles' heel; to inhale poison under the illusion of grandeur," - well said!
"Yet this may be all we will ever have,
rubik dreams and a comic book fantasy," - interesting take
"endless waltz under moonlit beams or
enchanted tangos amongst the pyramids." - beautifully expressed
"as pain and tragedies becomes our trump card... satisfaction to our complacent selves." - a blow to laziness (harsh) whereas before you were also in a sense smashing the workohlic/alcohoic/... anyoholics - good points made!
"But who's to say that oblivion must come
or that our paradise must be crucified?" - Exactly!
Love the conclusion... nice usage of allegories towards the end. The beginnning to the last stanza is very poetic and the final lines are just soft and beautiful... all helping to accurately portray your stance!
Thanx 4 the entry^^ Alex
P.S. Happy New '08!!
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Thanks for the comment and Gold!!! your words are much appreciated, THANKS agian and HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU TOO!!!
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I totally enjoyed this... and since I use that site tooo ... I found it entertaining~ Thanks so much for entering my 2nd chance contest!
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Amaazing Jacen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You never cease to amaze me with your talent Jacen!!!! But this is so profound and deep that I cannot even find the words to say how much the depth and truth are revealed here.I'm telling you, you need to publish a book I am sure it would sell like hot cakes....Your vocbulary here is just perfect and I love the title and everything just flowed together amazingly!!!!Pat yourself on the back with this piece!!!!~~Toni~~
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Quite good.
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