Hush little Girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
The beatings were bad,
the words hurt even more.
All of this happening,
behind our closed doors.
Hush little girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
Date raped at age 15,
kept to yourself.
For this act was dark,
and it was also unseen.
Hush little girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
Gang raped at age 16,
by same guy and his friend.
Don't you tell anyone,
in fear of retaliation.
Hush little girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
Keep it all to yourself,
Like a book on the shelf.
Pay him back as best you can,
he was never really your friend.
Hey little girl with tearful eyes,
look up in the bluest skies.
As you slumber never forget,
it is he who has to live with regrets.
Take a smile that is owed to you,
it is he who has to pay his dues.
Never feel guilty for what he did,
you were nothing but a shy little kid.
Now that you are grown up,
and have become so brave.
Pay him back real good,
make him take guilt to his grave.
Author notes
I chose option #7
this poem portrays the true events of abuse in my life as a child and young teen!
option #3
I am taking back my life,I was tired of keeping the abuse to myself!
"Something In The Way"
[used] TexasMomma
Stop The Violence Speak Out
A contest entry
- The hurt inside by ExpectingMommy18.
600 points, ended May 25, 2007, 27 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best by Donkaidi.
450 points, ended May 30, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape & Molestation -How Easy It Is To Ruin A Life- by Dead Star--x.
600 points, ended August 3, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Phoenix by vierna.
600 points, ended August 1, 2007, 20 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
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wow, this is an amazing write, too many survivors keep quiet to avoid trouble, so much abuse goes unreported and unpunished, great write, good on you for putting it on paper.
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we ask ourselves why is there so many suicides in the young people its thins that this try to cope with they feel dirty from someone elses touch that wasnt welcomed they cant deal with it the end result they kill themselves and the dirty little secret sta
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Very well written -- Clear and Effective
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Take a smile that is owed to you,
it is he who has to pay his dues.
Never feel guilty for what he did,
you were nothing but a shy little kid.
nice poignant writing -
powerful
Very powerful write! The repetitions are somewhat haunting, but very true to the situations and enhance the write. Unfortunately I can relate..
Many sincere hugs and blessings to you. *stomps
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Thank you for your entry
It is true we have to fight to reclaim our lives from abuse. It is a long hard road. One full of ups and downs. Thank you for your entry.
Good luck, I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
This was beautiful. and your emotions are so clear out. and.. if i was you,, wow. I am a hot tempered person,, and well.. im keeping all strong words down here.. but what a lost person that guy was. Im so sorry it ever happened to you, no one deserves such a thing. But i am so glad you are holding your head up high knowing none of it was your fault. And your poems are wonderful just as this one is. Thank you for sharing. - elena
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amazing
beautifully done. very emotional piece. i can relate as it happened to someone very close to me. great job!! i hope this isn't you and if it is, i'm so sorry and may God bless you!!
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i'm sorry you went through what you did, but you seem all the more stronger for what happened and therefore i saulte you. it's not easy to go through what you have, but you are still smiling and that takes a lot of strength.
best of luck with life. -
Congrats on the gold and bronze trophies. This holds a very strong and important message. Thank you for this entry and good luck.
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for me its kind of frustrating cause i've been abbused by my father when i was a little boy
but now i grew up and i realised taht Those moments marked my life . But very good writing indeed
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Gut wrenching!!!! I hope the guys that did this get there due at the gates of Heaven!! I lifetime in Purgatory wouldn't be amiss here!!! My heart aches with you...NO ONE need ever suffer like this and I am sorry it happened to you!
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I CAN RELATE BUT I CANT. IT REALLY DIDNT HAPPEN TO ME BUT I KNOW SUMONE WHO HAD IT HAPOEN TO THEM AND THEY WAS TELLING ME HOW THEY FEL
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Thanks for your entry!
This is excellent, a hope for those who are going through the same thing you did in the past. I am sorry for what you went through and it pains me to know that children go through this everyday. I like the tie with the popular lullaby. Thanks for this write and I wish you the best in this contest
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absolutely fantastic piece!
im sorry for the pain you feel, and the abuse you suffered!
great job and good luck
♥ Unity
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A great piece, very good entry it speaks out about abuse very well, I'm sorry you had to go through it. Thank you for entering the contest and I wish you all the luck I can. xXx
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Congrats on the gold and the bronze. This was so moving and chilling. I loved it. You really got the issue out in the open with this piece and it's a very important issue to write about. Well done. Loved it.
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I am glad to see you're fighting back. good luck -paint
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Hush little girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
at the beginning and very close to the end it was so sad, but i'm glad you've seized your life again after it happened, it shows great bravery
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the subject of this write is one that can never be written about enough to make people awre of the frequency of such evil behind closed doors and I am very sorry that this is something that you personally can relate to. I did not pay that much attention to the rhyme and or form , as I did concentrate on the content. I am just wondering "you always used a HE" even though there were more than one. {maybe you were separating and making each incident one of its own]?Anyway,I do wish you continued healing,
reenie
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Hmm...
The main idea and content of this poem were good. I like the details to go throughout the poem.
I do, however have two problems with this.
1. I'm not sure switching the rhyme scheme all over the poem is really such a good idea &
2. The repetition of that one verse, honestly, is annoying.
Overall, a good write, though.
NeveR ♥ -
wow... thats harsh! you did a good job writing this peice! congrats on your win. good luck in the contests that you are in... ha. good work! thanks for sharing! keep it up!
Crimson -
This is powerfully emotional and well written. Saddened by the words itself, and angry for anyone that must endure these things. As a survivor, I totally understand.
Good luck in the contest
Storm -
I'm sorry to say, this poem has been eliminated from the contest.
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This was okay for me. I don't think this will win, so I'm removing it from the contest. Thanks for entering though.
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heard these words as I was growing up
Hush little girl,
don't say a word.
Of all this abuse,
it can never be heard.
by friends of my parents -
Wow, nicely done... This one has a great flow and a powerful message, all in a neatly compact poem. I really enjoyed it.
Thanks for being in my contest, and good luck. -
well done
A touching story about some sad things. I know from personal experience these things will make you stronger or destroy you. I see you chose the "get stronger" option. Well done my friend. God bless you, Mark
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Awesome write!
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Beautiful and lovely! thank you so much for enering my contest. I loved your poem and wish you the best of luck! Tschuess
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I applaud you for finally speakig out and taking back your life!!!! Only when I was finally able to put it into words and speak about what happened did the nightmares start to fade. Well done and good luck in this contest!!!!
~DAWN~
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i know ive came across this before and i still really like the way it becomes hopeful in the end, like its standing up and saying you know what-fuck him! let him suffer
id love to get to that point...someday i will x]
thanx for entering & good luck
♥Cure My Tragedy♥ -
Amazing, simply amazing and very powerful You lent me your power for myself. Thank you!
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Wow, this was very powerful. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you feel. I am not the greatest fan of ryhmes - but that is just my own personal bias and I think you did a great job with this. The ryhmes did not seem forced and the stanzas were well put together. A good length, too. It has almost an eerie quality to it - the way you use the words/phrase/tune almost of an old song. It reminds me of a horror movie, almost.
If I were to critique anything: In your fourth stanza I noticed the last line didnt ryhme. Reading this it took me out of the poem for a moment, realizing that the flow jolted a bit. I personally much rather the words be the exact ones you mean then to force a ryhme - but it did seem out of place. But then again it is difficult ryhming with "yourself"!
I also liked how your ryhmescheme changed from ABCB to ABCC by the end and then back again. It was original and I enjoyed it. Well done. Overall this is such a powerful peice, scary and sad. I hope that - if this is you - you are doing okay. It takes strength to be so honest about this kind of stuff. You have all of my luck in the conterst, and all of my love,
L -
This poem is a very vivid one.. it's very honest n has a wonderful imagery. You have captured very deftly, the feelings of condolence, darkness and horror. The closing lines show a lot of hope and the willingness to fight back. The words used are very intense and for sure do justice to the theme...
Well written, and good luck in the RAVEN QUALIFIER. -
This poem is incredible, and what I find even more incredible is how you finally took back your own life. I love this poem, it's so greatly written. Thank you for entering!
[take.care&good.luck]
x.
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heartrending topic...but I'm glad you've managed to say something about it. I am only 15 now - and can scarecly imagine how emtionally scalding such a senseless act would have caused you.
On a more poetic note, I liked your rhyme scheme - none of it was forced. The repetition of "little girl" emphasises your vulnerability and somehow has more impact on the reader - engraving the image of a little girl in their mind.
Overall an amazing piece. Well done. Good luck.
SM XD -
thats good, to finally give yourself that outlook takes a lot of time to do because you blame yourself for various things, for being weak, for trusting that person, for calling them a friend, for it happening..
i was raped at 16 and was molested this year again, i still feel guilty about it, and i know it will take him to his grave but it will torment me with the memories until im in mine-which makes death seem satisfing.
i like the repition of hush little girl, im listening to this song by nirvana "something in the way" it fits the tone of the song & its errie the way hish little baby fits into it too...
thatnks for sharing, thanks for entering, and thank you for following the rules ♥
PrettyX
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Thank you for your submission. However, this poem has already received a trophy, and therefore does not comply to the contest's requirements.
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Well, this poem has the melancholy of grief of personal life and I can feel it. Very tragic story. It has touched me with pain. Keep it up. Thanks for entering the contest.
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I love the write~ clearly you did a fantastic job~ good luck in the contest!
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beautiful.
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DMF
Repetition: a useful device, and here, of course, appropriate to the meaning.
2nd stanza: 6 sullables in 2nd line, I would omit "even", and in the 4th "our". The reader would implicitily supply these emphasisers, and also the flow (more importantly, poetically speaking) improves thereby. [This says something to me, personally, about a 5/6/5/5, taking "happening" as "happ'ning", syllable structure, although the long e vowels of even has something to do with it as well.]
The slow down of "and it was also unseen" is quite effective.
At 16 ! sheet, momma. Can I bear to read on? Truth demands I must. (*grimaces*) And for that I applaud, although the topic imparts the Visceral Sword as much as anything.
I forbear largely from comment, hereon through to the end. Concisely, ... no: it is a serious topic, and one not unclose to my heart and experience, albeit I am a man, and do what I can to redress such situations.
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Truly sad how abuse rears its demonic head. I'm glad she can know that all men aren't like that. The law doesn't have limitations on rape. She should report him and the others. They probably raped others also.
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That little girl was me!I am now 42 years old!My daddy that beat me and verbally abused me died in 2001 qnd the other guys ,I have managed to confront them over the years letting them know ,I never forgot what they did to me!
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amazing
well im commenting again because i think this poem deserves it...i think it was one of the best in my contest and i liked the way you had it written even though it was so sad...again good luck with your healing and the contest -
well this was very good and i do wish you good luck in this contest im glad your healing
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Wow this was very intense but captivating, I hope this didnt happen to & was just a contest option, but if so good job on being strong. Wish you the best in the contest!!!
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Beautiful
It is beautifully written dear Arlena. The melancholy and guilt is so deep that it touches heart and is successful in shaking it to the core. Minor abuse is a mojor problem which the gals on the threshold of adolosence does not know what to do. The theme and the flow are nearly perfect. Wish you a very good luck in the contest. This deserves to be the first.Keep it up. As far as I feel change the font color to white on this background and it would be more impressive.
With love
Shivani
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this is a beautiful poem. Well done. It almost made me cry. So many of us go through such horrible things and alot of us in the end come out stronger and win over the battle of ourselves. =]
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Wow!!
Great write!!!! Your word flow is gripping.. -
Amazing
You have so much strength, and determination, and your musings are from within. Keep writing, and I hope your words are of a more sturdy and desirable nature.
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i don't like this kind of stuff... but i really liked the ending... made me feel a little better about the whole situation.... good write i liked how it kinda sounded like a song... anyway... good write...
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WoW!Great write!
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Wow, a really deep piece. I can relate kind of, and it's so sad.. but it really only makes one stronger. Awesome poem, full of emotion and hope in the end, loved that.
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