The delicate shadow of lucidity was
easily erased by the tantalizing promise of freedom;
judged by Them to be irredeemable (and equally irreverent),
we stole the chemicals from the display case
in the Hallway of Transparent Lies.
We took turns smashing the bottles of brainwash,
dazed by the heady feeling of
being separate from the apathetic masses,
and spoke laughingly of the Pax Romana.
Did the citizens there know that their perpetual
barbarian wars would be labeled
as a great peace by future historians?
Our own thinly veiled cease-fire
was only leading to bread and circuses, we knew.
And we spoke what we knew.
Treason, They declared, and
the new faithful – the ones that
cannot forget Tiananmen Square –
left the cities, left behind the bewildered,
besieged, benighted unclean.
We smiled as we turned our backs,
determined to create our own realm,
where angelic faces mirrored beautiful
inner minds. We smiled despite knowing that
we could never be part of our dream world,
that we were tainted and truly irredeemable now, because
we adored the irony of the explosive secret we left behind.
Author notes
For HereComesTheSun's contest ~ my username is Afternoon Dreams... I think this should win a medal because– well, mostly because it's one of my favorites out of the poem's I've written. While the poem itself is mostly fantasy, I think there's enough reality referenced in it to add a little more dimension to it. It's pretty obvious what it's about, I hope, but I tried to make it a bit deeper than just "the government sucks, man..." While the system has its price, so does fighting it in any effective way.
Also, I just had fun writing it, so hopefully people will enjoy reading it.
I used option #13 (my favorite number!) The words I used are: the, explosive, treason, steal, display, chemical, pax, irredeemable, apathetic, unclean, perpetual, separate, dazed, faithful, transparent, delicate, lucid, shadow, cannot, tantalizing.
Dear Amanda – I really liked a lot of the options! I wish I had entered sooner... But! The point of this meandering note!
"Parfois, insurrection, c'est resurrection." – Victor Hugo.
In English, it means "sometimes, insurrection is resurrection." We're studying the fall of the Soviet Union and the contemporary events in China right now in history, which is sort of where this came from.
(if you don't know what the Pax Romana is, or the protests in Tiananmen Square, you should really look them up. Also, "bread & circuses.")
A contest entry
- A cascade of magical options are flying in your face!!!!!! by AutumnsFlame.
415 points, ended June 27, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Masterpieces Sketches (( For Poems That Have Not Won Medals )) by HereComesTheSun.
700 points, ended January 27, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honesty is appreciated!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
great poem
and you should be proud of it
thanks for entering -
My hat goes off to you, my friend for a display of brilliance. The metaphors through out are phenomenal. Best wishes to you in the contest. I enjoyed this very much.
-
Quite the story line
You did pretty well at getting all the points I feel for the contest, looks like a challenge that i would not like. well done.
-
This is astounding, the words you've used are eloquent and they are like a steady breath as I read each one. Well done! Beautifully written!
-
Cool! I like this one a lot! I really like the line about breaking bottles of brainwash
-
Excellent job using my words!... I don't understand politics very well... but your description was great! Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
