my plea to you

If you are here to bring me hope
Turn thy other cheek
If you are here to remind me of who I once was
Don’t bother,
I have come too far to turn back
If you want to give me love
You are too late
If you are here to be my rock
You will one day be the cause of my avalanche
If you want to mend my broken spirit
There are too many pieces
And most are lost to another day
If you want to feel my pain
You would die inside
If you want to be my shoulder
You too one day will fall
If you want to catch me
You have already missed
If you want to please me
You mustn’t deceive me so
If you want hear my truth
I wish everyday
That I could give up
And that day would be my last
My truth is…
I wish the pain could stop
I want things to be the way they were
The golden days
When I had friends I could rely on
And would run with me in an instant
Without plotting against me
And waiting until I was weak
To take advantage of my pain
And try to make me theirs
I don’t want be
Not theirs not yours
I want to be free of this
Free of everything
Today is the day
I wish I were dead