Earthy eyes,
where patches of green moss
grow after rain,
hide what is below.
Feelings
burrow in the dirt,
crawling over each other like spiders,
afraid to come out of the shadows.
But be careful:
shy creatures by nature
have a poisonous bite
if angered.
Author notes
I'm usually a shy person, but you don't want to be around if I get mad.
A contest entry
- You by Sofia Nadia.
800 points, ended May 31, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SheLookedInsideAndScreamed by Exodus.
600 points, ended August 19, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love the way you compared yourself to the spiders in hidden meaning...and I enjoyed this piece even though I don't like spiders...lol
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Stunning imagery carried brilliantly through the whole piece. The last stanza is certainly one a lot of people can relate to.
It is nice to see someone that has not only gone to the trouble of presenting their piece well, but has also thought of things such as colour. Well done and thank you
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very good.
heehe, very good, well done and thank you very much for entering my contest,
floorboards.
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The last stanza is incredibly powerful! I love it when the message is simple and concise...it packs quite the punch.
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Great
This is much more of what i was looking for. i applaud your use of metaphors and imagery. what i really liked is that your piece came to life for me. you chose descriptive action verbs that didn't just TELL, but SHOWED me what was going on. excellent job. thanks so much for entering and good luck!!
~SofiNadi
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