As the horn sounded,
They marched.
And as the letter promised,
They died.
From ‘round their vicinities,
The bullets flew.
Never once did they think to look back.
From the courses they drew,
They followed the lines that they couldn’t see.
Into the snow…
Valiantly passed their sorrows.
Together with their Band of Brothers.
Winter’s frosty bite…
Wearing all the men down.
They could still hear their loved one’s song,
And alone they hummed.
One man stares down at his boot,
Soaked with the blood of a Kraut.
Only a boy…
In unity they begged for the world to discover,
Their small, but strong, Band of Brothers.
The medics are dispatched,
But only the physical wounds they can treat.
Inside every soldier’s heart,
Is the decaying aura of innocence.
As the company halts,
The men dry their conscience tears.
Into battle…
‘Til every Kraut is on his knees,
They vowed to remain as Brothers.
As the enemy slowly withers,
The soldiers throw their helmets up for the last time.
Contagious smiles return,
To the warm, bright, red cheeks of the brothers.
Arm in arms…
Forever the lost comrades will remain on the barren hillside…
Forever as the band of brothers.
Author notes
I wrote this after reading an entire book on World War II. Watching "Band of Brothers" only added to the inspiration.
A contest entry
- To find ugly meanings in beautiful things is to be corrupt without being charming -Oscar Wilde by Aesthete.
700 points, ended June 18, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me your Warface!!!!!! by Fenrir Rising.
1050 points, ended June 24, 2007, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very good!
I just started a contest about a war story with 1750 points in prizes. I would be honored if you submitted an entry.
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Such a sad time in history. What an emotional and full of wonderful imagery write. Well done my fine poet
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Very good
Good descritption, good imagery, i really enjoyed this peice. You did awsome man...Finalist -
This is a good poem, but as in any there is a flaw or two. It started quite well with "As the horn sounded/They marched/And as the letter promised/They died. But afterwards I would suggest a space in between that and the next line. It's like putting paragraphs in prose. When there’s a change or a new thought it's good to space. It gives the reader a pause which helps to distinguish between the two different things. Placing all the unrelated sentences in one continuous stanza makes it disjoint and confusing at times. In your piece I noticed several obvious starters for a new stanza. For instance after the lines I quoted another should begin with "From round their vicinities." Doing this just helps with the pacing and allows the reader to process the varying bits of information more fluently. So good work but could use some revision.
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I took your advice, and it does look and flow better than the last version.
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