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Laughing Passion

Missing image

Laughing Passion

O to be a child of the night
cloaked in a blanket of darkness
the silken cover closes in
and the night time belongs to me

cloaked in a blanket of darkness
I awaken to the evening
bedtime prayers a thing of the past
I rise to a beckoning lust

I awaken to the evening
after the gentlemen are paid
they make their way to darkend streets
an alluring slattern I am

after the gentlemen are paid
I dress to suit the occasion
and they dance to give me their pay
I am a child of laughing passion

 

 

 

Author notes

Retourne

Like so many other French forms, the Retourne is all about repetition. It contains four quatrains (four-line stanzas), and each line has eight syllables. The trick is that the first stanza's second line must also be the second stanza's first line, the first stanza's third line is the third stanza's first, and the first stanza's fourth line is the fourth stanza's first. Retournes do not have to rhyme.

Form source: shadowpoetry.com

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • King Nothing
    June 19, 2007

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    Simply splendiferous

    If you stare hard enough at the font color it seems as if it's two different colors--flashing one color, then another.

    Kinda like the moving pillow (laying your head down, closing one eye, opening it and closing the other) and the chain linked fence theory (if you stand in the righht spot it seems that the fence is really close but in actuallity it's far away)

    Anyways I loved the way you wrote it. I've been in a poetry class but they never gave us this style...

    Thanks for giving me the opportunity of reading this

    --- King-Nothing


  • Florida Sunshine
    June 18, 2007

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    Wow~ I love it when I see interesting formats used~ then you read the write along with it~ and wham! You see HOW great it truly is! NICE job! nice explanation! Good luck in the contest!


  • Whispering Wind Moderators member
    June 1, 2007

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    WONDERFUL

    A masterpiece for sure filled with images and passion of the night, I to see a trophy in this write


  • Laura Lamarca gold member
    May 25, 2007

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    Sis, this is good, not just in form but also in content. You used the title well and produced a flawless write (as usual) You should see another trophy with this Thank you for sharing. Love you always. Laura :K


  • Desire gold member
    May 24, 2007

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    Magnificent!!

    Oy!! What a form- I have to try this in the future
    Love the presentation and Wow~ Powerful piece penned
    Wonderful job!!
    Love this verse

    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • JohnnyD gold member
    May 24, 2007

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    great pen there Amera,

    I've run into more than one of these children of the night over my years. Most were simply too far gone for me to help, one I got a bus ticket and sent her back to her parents in Nashville. I know she got there as her mother called me three days later.
    but most, yeah its just heartbreaking and all one can do is...whatever..

    Dad


  • Pure Thought silver member
    May 24, 2007

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    Well penned

    I'm just about ready to write more formal poems. You and a couple others, ma belle for example are the inspiration. My challenge shall be to control the muse, she is such a wanton wench not prone to be controlled.
    Your words spoke clearly of the woman and what she felt of her profession. What fools males be.


  • PerVirtuous
    May 24, 2007

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    Laughing passion. What a great phrase. I love it. You have used the form perfectly to express this feeling. Three ovating bunnies!

  • Turtle74
    May 24, 2007
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    it leaves me puzzled

    what is this really about, it leaves me to beleive strange things


    • Amera gold member
      May 24, 2007
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      I actually thought it was self explanatory, since it is spelled out in the poem. The thoughts of a slattern.

1 - 10 of 10